The Sapp's

What's been going on? Ok, here goes. . .

2011-09-26T21:59:00.004-04:00

I have been so overwhelmed by the changes in our lives that I just couldn't bear to face this blog and start the long process of explanation. I decided I'll just do a synopsis and hope it will satisfy anyone out there that is still checking every once in awhile.

--On Christmas Eve, my Mom was taken to the hospital because she was extremely disoriented and not communicating well. After speaking with our family, it was decided that I would go (with Jack--then 6 months old) to help her get to SLC to have brain surgery. Since I am pretty useless with a humongous baby always on my hip, we also decided John should come with us. We were able to go the next day (yes, Christmas) and get her out of the hospital and back home for a few nights before we took her to Salt Lake. Funny side story: Mom was really disoriented from her tumor and was constantly up and down during the first night at home. I slept on the couch so that I would hear her come into the kitchen, which she did every hour or so, puttering around looking for things, trying to wash the dishes, take her medicine, press random buttons on the microwave, etc. At one point I was awakened from my uneasy slumber by a VERY loud alarm, followed by a voice calling from the darkness: "Mrs. Rust, what is your emergency?" I spoke to the voice, "Let me check on her!" expecting the worst and I went in her room and she was putting on lipstick. At 3 am. I guess she was messing around with the things in her purse and she pushed her alert necklace that goes to the call center. I told them it was a mistake and took Mom's necklace away from her while she continued to get dressed and put on earrings and makeup. It was a very surreal experience. We got to see my Dad while we were there in St. George. His Alzheimer's had progressed a lot and he barely even looked up at all while we were there. He did, however, acknowledge baby Jack by wiggling his fingers and smiling at him once. I will forever be grateful for that tender mercy.

--We flew with Mom to SLC and met my sister there where she took over her care (including her insulin shots which I made John do while we were in charge, seriously I was useless). She had the surgery and we stayed one more day, seeing her before we left. She was still very disoriented, but also extremely agitated. She chanted things that made no sense, her voice rising in pitch and intensity so that it was heartbreaking. My sisters who took care of her after I left were wonderful, I don't think I could have borne it for long.

--A few days after we got home, my dad fell. They think he may have fainted. He broke his cheekbone and was pretty bruised. He had a great physical set back, and "lost" his ability to swallow. We kept him on iv fluids for several days, hoping he would rebound, but it soon became apparent that he would not. His advance directive clearly stated that he did NOT want to have his life prolonged in ANY way, including feeding tubes and iv's. So we unhooked the iv and he passed away a few days later. It was a very emotional time for me (obviously), and the kids took it pretty hard too. But with lots of encouragement and help from our wonderful friends, we got through the funeral and felt better after.

--After much debate and many hours of conference calls with my siblings, we moved my Mom to North Carolina to be closer to family, specifically my brother Dayle. She was doing a little better, and now understood that Dad was gone (she was not lucid at the time of his passing or his funeral). We went to visit her in April, and she was content, peppy, and quite lucid, almost her normal self. We went on long walks in the spring sunshine. She played with Jack and carried on (somewhat disjointed) conversations. We were sure she would last several more years in that state, and went home very happy. I will also forever be grateful for that wonderful week we were able to spend together.

--A few weeks later, she started acting strangely aggressive, and Dayle took her in to get an MRI and they found several small tumors. She had been quite clear that she did not want ANY more treatment--no radiation, definitely no surgery, and not even steroids. We prepared to watch her slowly deteriorate. She saved us that burden by slipping away quietly in her sleep just a week later. Only four months after my Dad. It really was a blessing, but I still haven't quite come to grips with the fact that I'm an orphan. All ten of us children without the guidance of a parent anymore. I will have to be content with the fact that they had a long, productive life and they taught us so much and now we all just have to lean on each other.

That's about all I want to say about that for now. I'll try to post again soon, giving the whole story about how we landed in Virginia.

Busy busy

2011-03-20T15:41:00.011-04:00

Jack is growing older. He can now walk, crawl, wave, clap, yell, scream, give great hugs, find the tiniest scrap of trash and taste it, play in the basement with his siblings, and over all be a joy to the whole family. A friend of ours mentioned how much he looks like Kevin, and we agree.

Notice how the corner of the paper is eaten. Jack loves eating paper and its a battle to ensure all paper is out of reach!

In the matter of a few months he got 7 teeth! This is a goofy fun face but it shows off his teeth, so I added it.

Our baby is eating real food! Wow how time goes by quickly...soon we'll have to stop calling him the "baby" and start calling him the "toddler"

Here is Jack and Kevin hanging out together, donning the cool pj's!

Here are each of our kids at 8 or 9 month old. Can you tell who is who? Who looks most alike?

I know I'm lazy. . .

2010-12-16T17:35:00.007-05:00

But here are a few pictures instead of doing a real post. If anyone out there is still checking my blog every once in awhile.

Some quick pictures

2010-08-05T10:32:00.006-04:00

Life is good. Jack is the perfect baby, no joke. Good sleeper, good eater, smiley and happy, healthy. We have had some visitors who all agree with me, or at least they were too afraid I would kick them out if they didn't agree. John's new job is interesting and not too stressful. He also got a new calling at church as an early-morning seminary teacher. The other kids are all having a fun summer with lots of swimming and other activities. Our niece Caitlin is staying with us to help out. We went to Six Flags on Saturday and had fun until we were ready to drop.

The only thing I can complain about is our basement flooded on Tuesday. Our sump pump failed and our battery backup pump worked its little heart out until the battery went dead. Luckily, the kids found out quickly that the basement was wet, and Caitlin called John who works only 15 minutes away and he got home fast and stopped the flood. We're still in the clean up process, but it's moving along just fine.

Here are some cute pictures. We take a picture on their month-birthday, so you can see Jack's growth.

Isn't Jack the cutest chubby-wubby baby that there ever was?

And doesn't Kevin look so grown up with his summer cut? It's the first time we've buzzed his hair. John did it right after the baby was born and it has been great to not have to worry about his hair. Now if only I could do the same to Hannah. . . .

Jack's Story

2010-06-14T09:39:00.003-04:00

***ALERT*** This post is for my birthing buddies, who are interested in the minute details of birth. This post definitely contains TMI (too much info) for the casual reader, so if that is you, scroll down to the lovely pictures and don't worry about the gory details of Jack's birth.

Jack was due on May 28th, a Friday. On Thursday, I went for my 40 week check and she said I was about 2 cm, but 0% effaced. That was a little discouraging, but I wasn’t too surprised. I talked to a lot of people about what to do to encourage some softening and dilating, and one friend suggested (and provided!) evening primrose oil. I used it Friday morning, and by Friday afternoon, I lost my mucus plug and then later started having some bloody show. I also had several strong contractions. That night, I woke up with some pretty intense contractions that were about 10 minutes apart for 2 or 3 hours. I thought for sure this would be the night. But they never got closer, and eventually I fell asleep between contractions and didn’t time them any more, but I think they were about every 30 minutes. This continued Saturday night, Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night. I obviously was not getting much sleep. Every night I thought “This is it!” but then they would slow down and even almost stop by morning. They were pretty hard too—I didn’t sleep through them. I had to breathe and sometimes even moan during them. During the day I would have some, but not like those episodes at night.

On Wednesday, I went to a baby shower lunch for two friends who are due soon. I ate A LOT. I was pretty uncomfortable, feeling huge, having some contractions, but nothing to be alarmed about. About an hour after I got home (about 3 pm), I went to try and take a nap, but the contractions started up again super strong, about 9-10 minutes apart. I timed them, but they didn’t get closer together or stronger. At almost 5 pm, I called John and told him to not dilly-dally on his way home, just in case this was it. It felt a little different, but I still wasn’t sure. They stayed steadily at 8-9 minutes apart, so I thought it would be a long time still. Suddenly at about 6:30 as John, Denise and the kids were eating dinner (I couldn’t even think about food at that point), they started being about 5 minutes apart. But some of them weren’t very strong or long at all. Easily bearable. So I still wasn’t convinced this was actual labor. By about 7:15, I said we should probably start getting ready to go over to the hospital because I was pretty sure it was labor, even with the mini-contractions I was having. We got everything set, got the kids ready for bed and had prayer with them, then headed out at about 8:15. The hospital is pretty far away, and by the time they got me checked in, dressed in a gown and checked my cervix, it was about 9:15. The nurse said I was at 5 cm, with a bag of waters bulging out! I couldn’t believe it. I think I had been in the early stages of labor for 5 days. With all my babies, it takes me hours and hours to get to 5, then from 5 to 10 takes about an hour. I told the nurse that, and she took me seriously and called my midwife immediately. We called Denise to tell her to come over quickly, and my doula Sarah too. The nurse wanted me to do antibiotics because I was GBS positive. I told her it wouldn’t do much good since I was pretty sure to have a baby in an hour, with no time for the antibiotics to work. My midwife Deb got there very quickly, then Sarah soon followed. Deb talked me into the antibiotics, though I wish now I had stuck to my original plan. Getting the I.V. in while I was having these super-intense contractions was just a nightmare. I was tense and the vein blew, they had to really hold my arm down to get it in. I was crying from emotion, pain, and overwhelming feelings. It was pretty hard and fast now, Deb and Sarah helped create a calm environment with low lights, no nurse interventions like blood pressure or temp, and suggesting different positions. I was totally out of it, they would suggest standing up and I did what they suggested, but it hurt. So I’d try something else for the next one, and THAT would hurt. Yeah, that’s because I was dilating 1 cm per contraction by then, it didn’t matter what position I was in, they were all bad.

We were all expecting my water to break any second, but it never did. I laid on the bed for one contraction, and afterward said “I think I’m going to need . . .” and Deb knew right away I needed something to throw up into. I heaved a few times, and was happy to realize transition was here. One more contraction, then felt like I needed to pee. I had to swear to Deb I would not try to push out the baby while I was on the toilet. But after I peed, I had a contraction there, and at the very end, felt the need to push. Deb heard me and said “Are you pushing?!” and ushered me back to the bed. I lay on my side and she had me push a few times. Up to this point, Deb had never checked me, but only watched me and listened to my moans to gauge where I was. Those few pushes were pretty tentative on my part (at least compared to the later ones), and I don’t think they did much.

Deb checked me and said I was almost complete when not having a contraction, and that she was sure I was complete during them. She asked if I wanted her to break the water so the baby’s head would put more pressure on the cervix. I said yes. Immediately as she broke the water, I had the most intense contraction ever and I said “No, no, don’t!” thinking, I don’t know, maybe she could put the water back in or something. Obviously THAT wasn’t going to happen and I pushed a lot stronger than I had been. At least it felt like it to me. Up to now, the baby had been tolerating the pushing fairly well—having decelerations, but the heart rate would come back up in between contractions. Now, the decels were going lower and staying very low. Deb told me very seriously to use all my force to push him out quickly. This is when Denise finally got to us. That was the first thing she heard, and she grew immediately concerned about the baby. The next three or so pushes, I worked harder than I ever have in my life, using every ounce of strength I had to push that boy out. During the pushes, I remember thinking “WHY does this hurt SO MUCH more than when Kevin was born???” Now I know it’s because he was almost 3 pounds bigger than Kevin. In between pushes, Deb continued to quietly and seriously tell me I REALLY needed to push with all my strength and not hold back because he was not doing well. I remember crying and saying “I’m trying!” and thinking I could not work any harder than I was. John said he could see the baby crowning during those pushes, but that his head seemed enormous and never-ending. Deb said she was going to cut a little episiotomy during the next push so he would come out. At that point, I was ready to agree to anything to help him along. She only cuts in 1-2% of her mothers, so I trusted her judgment completely. So the next push, she cut, and he practically flew out. Everyone said “WOW!” when he came out because he looked so big, but I couldn’t tell what the big deal was. She put him right up on my chest and I held him and he looked normal to me. The nurse rubbed him gently (not all rough) and he gave a little cry, but didn’t seem too traumatized. The nurse said “I should take him and check him out” but Deb hadn’t cut the umbilical cord and she said “Look at him, he’s fine, he’s strong, he can stay right there!” and I was just crying in happiness being able to hold him and keep him with me.

When they finally did take him to weigh him, and they said 10 pounds, 14 ounces it was totally surreal. “WHAT??” They measured again, same results. We couldn’t believe it. Then, 22 ½ inches. Well, at least he’s proportioned. His head is huge, all the nurses commented on it. They couldn’t believe there was no molding. His head was perfectly round and gorgeous. During the second to last push, I felt something pop and had a lot of pain in my tailbone. I don’t know exactly what injury it is, but it is extremely painful. His big head has just about killed me.

A lot of people have said they are amazed I did it naturally, but I think if I had had an epidural, I wouldn’t have been able to push him out. I probably would have ended up with a c-section. So I’m so glad I chose not to. I don’t know why or how this kid got so big, since my others were all 8 pounds, and I didn’t have gestational diabetes. I wonder if he is going to kind of even out, or if he’ll always be big for his age. He is so far a very mellow and content baby. He sleeps pretty well and is gaining back the weight he had lost after delivery. And of course, he’s the cutest baby ever.

One thing I learned from Jack’s birth is that a woman’s body is incredibly strong. I’m not a very strong person ordinarily, but during his birth, I probably could have lifted a car if someone told me that was what I had to do to get him out. The feeling of power and strength was amazing. If I can do it, ANYONE can.

Here are some pictures of our newest Sapp. The first two are the professional pictures they take at the hospital.

Jack is here

2010-06-04T07:58:00.007-04:00

Just a few pictures to announce the arrival of Jack born on June 2 weighing a whopping 10 lbs 14 oz and 22.5 inches long. Both Jack and Lajuana are doing well and are due to come home Saturday morning. Jack is a very mild baby so far and it has been nothing but a treat to have him join our family. Lajuana is amazing having delivered Jack all natural. His hair is light brown almost reddish, exactly how Garrett's hair was when he was born. So we are expecting Jack will have nice blond hair like Garrett or maybe a little darker.

At Last

2010-05-22T08:59:00.009-04:00

I'm very pleased to say that I (John) found a great job! After interviewing around the country I ended up finding a great fit with a company called Nalco. I'm in the global headquarters which happens to be of all places right here in our town! So no moving any time soon for us. My position is Product Manager, basically managing the marketing and strategy of industrial products that are used in water systems. Without getting too detailed I'll be able to combine my heating and cooling, engineering, and MBA experience for this position...exactly what I was hoping for.

I started the job on Monday of this week but something else very important happened Saturday May 15, my graduation! After a stressful 18 months with no breaks, I finished my MBA at the University of Notre Dame. When I began the program I asked our Heavenly Father to help me out so that I can do well and take the most from this opportunity to learn. The experiences and friendships I have gained have truly been a blessing to me. My class was cohort style so I took all my classes with the same group of people who became a close group of friends and teammates. I'm on the right side of the group picture with my head above the others.

I never would have thought it but I guess the windows of heaven were opened because I was blessed to do well in my classes and ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude and inducted into Beta Gamma Sigma Honor Society.

I have to say that none of this would have been even remotely possible without the amazing support and constant sacrifice that Lajuana and the kids have made. Lajuana never ever made me feel that I was less of a father or husband because of the extreme time devotion I had to spend getting that project done, prepare for a presentation, or get ready for that impossible exam. She is an amazing woman and I truly believe I am who I am because of her. The business school sanctioned the use of an honorary certificate called the "Master of Patience", she earned it with Summa Cum Laude honors.

To celebrate my graduation we had my entire family come in from across the country. It was a blast seeing my family and having them stay with us. My younger brother Jason was in Iraq when I graduated with my bachelors degree and so this is the first time we could all be together in 8 years! Below is a picture of my brothers and my sister. The one below that is of the entire family. We sure did have a great time.

We are here, we are here!

2010-04-15T17:46:00.004-04:00

I’ve been taking it real easy the last few months, which translates into I’ve been even lazier than usual. The biggest change is that John was laid off on Feb 1, and has therefore been home all day almost every day. Since before, we were lucky to see him two times a week, this has been an adjustment we were happy to make. After the initial shock and stress, we have really been enjoying our time together. I think if I were not pregnant, I would be even less stressed and not worry at all. But we’re taking full advantage of John being around all the time: we were able to take time to go visit my parents in St. George, UT and John has done a million projects around the house. He has spent hours and hours in searching, applying, and interviewing for new jobs. We have some promising ones, but I don’t want to count my chickens before they’re hatched, so I’m not going to say anything until we have some firm offers in our hands. John has been really hands-on with the kids, playing with them and helping them with homework and projects. SO NICE FOR ME, since I’m pretty tired of explaining fractions and gluing things.

My Mom and Dad are doing pretty well--we put my dad in a home in January and he has been fine there. My mom can't drive or hear very well (brain damage from tumors)but is happy to be living at home and has help come in 3 times a week to take her places and help her clean. She misses Dad, but is a lot less stressed now that the burden of his care is mostly on other people. She complains that they aren't taking as good care of him as she would like (they don't shave him everyday, and lose his socks), but they are mostly doing as good a job as you can expect from people not related to him.

I'm doing well physically and emotionally. I feel huge and my mom even said I already looked 9 months pregnant and a man at church asked if I was having twins. But I try not to take it too much to heart, especially since I've only gained 14 pounds so far with 6 weeks to go. The kids love to feel when the baby is kicking, and especially when he has hiccups. Hannah has reconciled herself to having yet another brother, but she also keeps telling me "they could be wrong and it's a girl." So I told her if it is, we'll name her Hope because Hannah has never lost hope.

John is getting ready to graduate with his MBA from Notre Dame and he is so excited! So are we! He has worked really hard and has earned great grades. I'm really proud of him. His whole family is coming for the graduation on May 15th. Anyone else who wants to drop in would be welcome. It's a beautiful time of year in Chicago.

The first 3 pictures are from Sunny St. George (you can see how huge I am--can I get any bigger?), and the last two are the before and after pictures from our kitchen.

The big news

2010-01-22T09:10:00.004-05:00

My facebook friends may already know, but for the rest of you, I’m keeping you in suspense. I went to get my first (and hopefully only) ultrasound on Thursday. Everything looked great with the baby, placenta, umbilical cord, etc. I was extremely relieved because I’ve been having this weird feeling that *something* is going to go wrong and for some reason that translated to me as “you’re going to have placenta previa and need a c-section.” Not so! I practically danced out of the room I was so relieved and happy. I know there are still things that can go wrong, but I’m not worried anymore and have my “protective bubble” tight around me now. No bad thoughts will enter in here!

The technician was able to find out the gender and I had her write it down and seal it in an envelope. She didn’t tell me (or Kevin who was with me) what it was.

A little background: the gender lines have been clearly drawn in our household, with the boys wanting a boy, and Hannah wanting a girl. But Hannah REALLY wants a sister, and the boys want a boy mostly because it’s expected that they should want another boy. As for me, I have felt there is another girl for our family, ever since I found out Kevin was a boy. I’ve always assumed this would be a girl, born in the same month (or close to it at least) as our other girl. I have saved most of our girl stuff, while liberally giving away most of our boy stuff when we moved here. You see where this is going, don't you? John was kind of hoping for a girl, though he didn't say anything about it to the kids. Hannah had worked herself into a frenzy, making pictures of me holding a baby girl, talking to the baby and telling it to be a girl “PLEASE!” and yesterday she told all her friends we were finding out the gender and they all made her cards saying “Good luck!” or “Congratulations I hope it’s a girl!” I love my four sisters (heck I share a house with one), and I couldn’t imagine life without ANY of them. I really wanted a sister for Hannah, though I knew she eventually might regret having a pesky little sis getting into all her stuff. After my miscarriage last summer, Hannah cried and asked if that was “the girl baby” that died. It was just heart-breaking, I was as sad for her as I was for myself.

So when John got home, we hurried him through dinner so we could open the envelope. Should we take video of us opening it? I said no, because if it’s a boy, there will be some weeping and wailing that might hurt the future Sapp’s feelings (but a little voice in my head said, wouldn’t it be precious to have her reaction on video if it is a girl—luckily I ignored that voice). Hannah was dancing around the room, dizzy with excitement. I opened the envelope and read aloud “It’s a boy!” with as much happiness as I dared. She immediately started sobbing, wailing, crying—her face was filled with anguish. It made me start crying too. I held her and tried to comfort her but she was literally inconsolable. I talked to her about how much we’ll love this baby, even though it’s a boy. I told her I was sorry and I was hoping for a girl too. Still crying. John said there’s not much difference between boys and girls when they’re babies anyway. And Hannah replied “But when it grows up it will STILL be a boy and I’ll have ALL BOYS in my family, WAHHHH! I will NEVER have a sister now! WAHHHH!” Yeah, she knows that this is her last shot because I’m done after this baby.

I talked to her about names, said she needs to help me pick out a name. Still sobbing. Then I said, “Hannah, I need your help. Do you remember what Dad wants to name a boy?” She slowed her sobbing and nodded. John wants to use an old family name, I think it’s German. The name is Topliff. Ewww. We fought about it a lot a few months ago until I finally said let’s put our arguments aside until we know the gender, thinking it would be a moot point anyway since we’re having a girl. So I continued to Hannah with a low urgent voice, “You have GOT to help me talk Dad out of that name. I do NOT like that name.” She stopped crying and said vehemently “Me neither!” John came to sit by us at that point and she told him that it was her job to not let him name the baby Topliff. He thought that was pretty funny. She was still in the post-crying hiccupping stage, but John called his sister and let Hannah talk to her. “Well, Aunt Renee, it’s a boy” with dripping disdain. Poor Renee had the same problem in her family but not only does she have 2 younger brothers, but THREE. She told Hannah how sad she was when John and their other brother were born. She told some funny stories that actually made her LAUGH. The crisis was over. I hope she will be happy, I know she’ll be a great big sister again. My reaction: I’m sad for Hannah, but happy for me because my boys have been relatively easy once they can walk. My girl has gotten harder as she gets older, which I imagine will continue into pre-teen and teenage years. Do I still feel there is still a girl waiting for our family? Ask me again in a year or so. But don’t get your hopes up.

How to raise compassionate children

2009-12-04T09:13:00.002-05:00

Actually, I have no idea how to raise compassionate children. My kids are naturally compassionate. For example, here is a typical response from each of my children while I'm violently heaving in the bathroom:

Garrett: Are you ok, Mom? Is there anything I should do?

Hannah: Can I get you something Mom? Some water or a wet washcloth?

Kevin: Are you done throwing up yet? (with a whine) You still didn't fix my transformer!

Of course, it is usually only Kevin home when I'm heaving, so I get SOOO much sympathy.

Lots o' pictures

2009-11-19T13:41:00.006-05:00

Just want to catch up a little in between my vomiting spells. Here are some pictures and a little bit of writing.

A beautiful day in October, we went to the park and then walked down to the neighborhood retention pond (actually John took the kids while I took a nap, but then I joined them later and helped take pictures).

We took a (very) quick trip to Ohio to visit John's Mom, unfortunately, our battery died right after we took this picture. We had a great visit and enjoyed beautiful weather.

We got tickets to the Notre Dame vs. Boston College game, and our whole family went and enjoyed the festivities. It was cold, drizzly, and pretty miserable, but ND won and it was an exciting game!

For Halloween Garrett was Huck Finn, Hannah was half angel/half devil (very appropriate for her quickly changing moods) and Kevin was a red Ninja Storm Power Ranger.

Our friend Sarah came over with her family, and we had so much fun catching up with them, and Garrett especially loved playing with little A. I think he would be just as happy with a new little sister as he would with a little brother.

Kevin had his 4th birthday. He was looking forward to it for a long time, and I don't think he was disappointed. He got a lot of presents, and he asked for a "HUGE" cake so I just put it in a sheet cake pan.

Hannah was in a kid's production of "Annie" and she had a total blast. She loved being on stage, acting, and especially singing. She did really well.

Once again, John and Garrett outshone the competition at the pinewood derby. This time, they put battery-operated headlights in it, with a toggle switch to turn it off and on. John taught Garrett all about electricity, relays, and switches, and I'm not really sure what else. The car did not race very well, unfortunately, but you can see his peers thought it was pretty amazing to look at.

Here we go again!

2009-10-28T09:51:00.003-04:00

We’re expecting again! This time, I feel more confidence in announcing it since I heard the heartbeat yesterday, and morning sickness is really kicking my rear. I don’t know if you all know this, but I am OLD. 37. And feeling every long year of it. I can’t count how many times I’ve been laying on my bed (or the couch, or the back of the van, or the floor) moaning and wondering what the heck we were thinking. Can I handle this?

This is my first pregnancy that I truly have “morning” sickness (all the others I had “evening” sickness the worst). I fight back the nausea all morning and constantly am ready to race to the toilet. The morning used to be my time to run errands, get things done like laundry and cleaning. Now it is my time to eat a little and lie down a lot. This baby does not like meat. Or sweets. But loves citrus (I’ve never been a huge fan, but now I’m sucking down grapefruits like a fiend) and sugar snap peas. John is so happy that this baby might turn out to be a vegetarian like him. I haven’t found anything that I like to eat in the morning yet. I’ve tried cereal, oatmeal, eggs, toast, nothing is good. Grapefruit is the best thing to have, but obviously does not fill my constantly starving stomach. Any ideas?

Here are a few pictures of some fun things we’ve done over the last month or so. First is when John and I went downtown Chicago for the jazz festival on our anniversary. It was a lot of fun but there were plenty of times I smelled sweet smoke if you know what I mean.

My niece Ashleigh is on the BYU soccer team and they had a game at Northwestern so we went and the kids had a blast cheering and they felt famous when they got to go on the field with a player. Ashleigh also sneaked them onto the team bus when they went out to eat after the game. The kids were in heaven.

We went on an architectural boat tour of downtown Chicago on a beautiful September afternoon. It was TOTALLY worth the $17 per person. So fun. Here is Denise with Hannah and Kevin.

We went to the Shedd Aquarium, which was NOT worth the $25 per person, but still a pretty fun way to spend the morning. Kevin refused to get in this picture because by the end of our time there, he was so cranky and contrary he only wanted to go home.

We love imaginary friends!

2009-09-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

By John

Kevin loves playing and has a very active imagination. A few weeks ago he mentioned he had a friend named “Speedy”; his first such imaginary friend. When we asked Kevin more about this new friend but he was pretty vague. He doesn’t really “play” with his imaginary friend but just talks about his presence when he goes on adventures to the Bat Cave, (the formal living room), or to outer space to get the bad guys. On Sunday Kevin came home with a couple of crafts made in his primary class. He had three big hearts; one for Hannah, one for Garrett, and the last one for himself. Kevin’s heart said “Jesus loves Kevin and Jared loves Jesus.”

As parents we were perplexed by the meaning of the heart, since the writing was clearly his teacher's. We inquired of Kevin if he got the wrong heart…no it’s his, we asked if he meant to tell the teacher Garrett (thinking how much Kevin loves his big brother)…no it’s Jared. We also know there aren’t any boys named Jared in his class.

Then we asked the obvious next question “who is Jared?”

Kevin with a straight and serious face responded “Oh, Jared lives next door to Speedy.”

We all busted up laughing. Kevin didn’t know why Garrett, Hannah, Lajuana, and I were laughing about. Gaining composure Lajuana and I tried to gain a greater understanding of Jared. Turns out that Speedy is 6 years old and Jared lives next door to Speedy and he is 13, they both live far away.

After a while Kevin was tired of talking about Jared and so we left it alone but the whole time Garrett kept saying “but who is Jared?” I could tell Kevin wanted to go and play so I told Garrett, “Obviously, Jared lives next to Speedy!”

A few minutes passed and I turned to Lajuana and we both wondered what his teacher thought. Did she think Jared was real; Kevin talked about him so seriously I think he could have pulled it off? Something we’ll ask before class next Sunday; can’t wait to hear the answer!

OK, so I caved

2009-08-07T09:38:00.003-04:00

So I gave in. Finally. I read the Twilight books. There were many reasons why I did NOT want to read them:
1. They sounded so ridiculous.
2. I have an unreasonable fear of vampires. Yes, I know they are not real, but really—sucking blood? Ick.
3. They sounded SOOO ridiculous.
4. My unreasonable fear began as a child, when my brother (not even ME) had a nightmare about my mom turning into a vampire. Just his description was enough to send me into a downward spiral of checking my closets and sleeping with the blankets rolled up around my neck (as if THAT would stop the bloodsuckers) well into my teenage years. Pay no attention to the fact that I still roll the blankets up by my neck. It’s just a habit. Really.
5. The story just sounded so amazingly ridiculous.
6. Vampires are SCARY!
Ok, so that is really just two reasons repeated 3 times, but aren’t they good enough?

There is ONE reason why I decided to read them. When we were thinking of baby names, I told my family we were thinking of Isabella for a girl and my cute sister-in-law looked at me conspiratorially and said “Oh, because of Twilight!” I about had a heart attack. I didn’t know anything but the basics of the book and I didn’t know any names. So I decided if there is going to be a whole slew of Mormon Isabella’s, then I should read up about her.

I must say, I went into the books with very low expectations. They were better than I thought, but still not great. And I decided I don’t much like the name Isabella any more. She was a real idiot. Seriously--pushing and pushing her boyfriend to do dangerous things, curling up in a ball and giving up on her own life out on the mountains when he broke up with her (and how can she be so clueless and to not understand why they should be apart), oh just so many things she did and said that made me cringe. But, overall, the books were somewhat fluffily entertaining and have been keeping me busy for the last few weeks. John kind of rolled his eyes at me, and assumed I’ve turned into one of those obsessed fans. Not so. I understand (kind of) the appeal and the craze among teenagers. Who didn’t wish for a gorgeous boy to be so totally obsessed AND in love with you that he put your happiness and virtue before his own desires and (ick) appetites? And to have another boy worship you enough to just be a friend because that's all you'll let him be? But the basics of the story still turn me off: vampires? She WANTS to become a vampire and sulks when Edward won't bite her? Can’t comprehend that. Sorry “Bella”. No one in my family will be named after you.

Reunion Time

2009-07-13T08:42:00.009-04:00

We had a great reunion in St. George, UT--fishing, hiking, boating, swimming, and more swimming. Here are some pictures:
Hannah with cousin Melissa

On the boat and tubing

Fishing

Emerald pools hike in Zion's canyon. As a proud Mom, I have to say Kevin hiked the whole thing himself (a little over 3 miles total) and didn't complain until the end of the ascent, then again at the end of the descent. Hannah became good buddies with cousin Josh and they stuck together and explored the pools together.

I broke my toe, and I'd like to say it was while I was doing something exotic like hiking or tubing down the Virgin river, but I broke it on the pullout bed I was sleeping on. Lame, I know.

Hannah hijacked the digital camera and took over 100 pictures of her cousins and various knick-knacks in my Mom's house. Some of them turned out pretty good.
Cousin Mary (Aaron's youngest)

Cousin Sophie (Trejo's middle)

My Mom--looking good with her new hair (it came in curly after radiation)

These are some of the funny face pictures she took:
Sophie

Juanita (Trejo's youngest)

Jethro (Aaron's middle)

Orion (Trejo's oldest and quite the ham)

Hannah finally handed off the camera to her cousin Eliza and she took this funny face:

My Hannah is quite the character!

There are lots of pictures I don't have yet, but we did a lot more fun things like tie dye t-shirts, tube on the Virgin River, break a pinata, and we should be getting pictures of Garrett's backpacking trip sometime. But let's be honest, I probably won't be posting again about it, so just imagine them in your mind.

Halt the congratulations

2009-07-01T18:42:00.002-04:00

John has been at home for the last week without us, I'm still in St. George with the kids. On Sunday, I started cramping and then bleeding pretty profusely. I was extremely depressed and sobbing off and on all day. My Mom had 10 children with no miscarriages, my sisters and I have 13 kids between us with no miscarriages, my aunts and maternal grandmother with almost 20 kids between them have never had a miscarriage. The thought never even crossed my mind as a possibility until I started bleeding, and even then I still was hopeful that it would all be ok. My biggest problem was that I didn't know what to do, or even if it WAS a miscarriage. On Sunday evening, my brother gave me a blessing, and though it was very special to me, it is very difficult to convey the impressions and feelings I had during and after the blessing. Mostly the feeling was "this is not the time yet for a baby" and "you'll be ok." It confirmed to me (more than a medical test) that it was indeed a miscarriage. That night I prayed and cried and prayed some more, pondered the reasons for this experience, and mourned a little. Monday morning, I woke up feeling emotionally cleansed and ready to face the future. My family has been great and supportive, they have taken care of my kids while I recover my strength. If you have to have a medical problem away from home, with your family is the place to be!

On Tuesday evening, I decided to go to the hospital so they could do a blood test to confirm that my hormone levels were going down, and to do an ultrasound to make sure the worst is over so I could be cleared to travel. The doctors and nurses were so funny, because they were trying to cushion the blow that I had lost the baby, but I already knew that. Finally the doctor asked "How hopeful are you that this pregnancy is still viable?" and I said "I know the baby is gone, I just want to know when I can go home." That sped things up considerably. Everything is progressing normally and I should be able to begin traveling home whenever I want. John is going to fly out to SLC on Saturday and help me drive home. He was trying to get me to fly home while he drove the kids home, but I thought that was a little silly. I'm feeling pretty good, just really tired and crampy. I'm so grateful I haven't had any emotional issues since Sunday, though there have been times I want to curl up in my bed and not face my family: that's pretty standard on a family vacation though :).

Next week I'll post some great pictures from our vacation. I would appreciate your prayers for our continued blessings and our safe return home. I know John has been beside himself during this time away from us, and I can't wait to get back to him!

One in the oven

2009-06-26T10:34:00.001-04:00

Its official…Lajuana is expecting! We just found out and we are all very excited! She’ll be due in February. Many of our friends can relate to our internal struggle with knowing when you’re done having more kids. Lajuana and I fasted and prayed a lot to know and at different times we both had conflicting thoughts. However, we both knew that we wanted one more. At the same time we were comfortable with no kids in diapers, we’re getting older, fears about the birth (just look back at the interesting birth stories of our kids), busy life schedules, and I’m super busy in school. In short we had a lot of things holding us back. Then after thinking about it more and more we realized that we needed hope and faith. The great examples of our many friends have provided us with true inspirational stories of lives lived by faith and the subsequent abundance of blessings. So with some hope and faith our fears are set aside and we are really excited to have another one join our family!

I have found that most people (outside of Utah) think having more than 2 kids is a large family! When I tell people I have 3 kids I’m amazed at their reaction like we’re single handedly repopulating the earth. I wonder what they’ll say when I tell them we’ll have 4 kids. So far we’ve only announced the news to family and some friends and neighbors that happen to be in ear shot. Here are some funny comments so far:

“Wow…really?”
“So when are you guys ever going to stop having kids?”
“At this rate your kids are going to be in college before you finish”
“Are you trying to get a TV program…only a few more to beat out that woman with 18”
(A funny one from my Mom) “That’ll make 12 grandkids now…no more after that one cause I can’t have 13”
“At this rate you’ll still be having kids when you’re a grandfather”

So what funny or crazy things have you heard people say about your growing family size????

Not sure if we are going to find out early if it’s a boy or girl…but if we do find out we’ll let you know. Thanks for all of your love, support, and examples. I’m sure Lajuana will have more postings to add later.

John

More Visits, More Fun

2009-06-19T08:00:00.004-04:00

We had a fabulous visit with Karin and family. It was a lot of fun reacquainting ourselves, especially the kids (for whom 2 years is a lifetime). We had a sleepover every night, Hannah was in heaven having so many girls in the house, and John was so happy to have someone to play games with. They bought us Settlers of Catan and we’ve been playing it non-stop ever since. Garrett and Z. played whenever the adults were not. Hannah and A. are just two peas in a pod. They holed up in Hannah’s room most of the time, playing with Polly pockets and putting on “make up” that Aunt Denise gave her for her birthday. Kevin tagged along with whatever the big boys were doing. Karin’s daughter B. (3 ½) was busy getting into everything, especially food they got from Trader Joe’s. Her favorite phrase is “Awwwww, WHY?” which she said every time we took things away from her or got her down off the table or made her stop climbing the outside of the stairs. Their littlest, L. was the belle of the ball for sure. Her feet were rarely allowed to touch the ground because Hannah and Garrett wanted to constantly carry her around (even though she can walk like an expert).

I got to introduce Karin to a friend of mine who has become very active in supporting natural childbirth, especially VBACs. She is in the process of becoming a doula. They had met through some VBAC websites, and realized they both knew me. Sarah came over and it was great to listen to them and share experiences and wisdom (even though Jared rolled his eyes at us a few times over his book while we sat there gabbing for 2 hours). It was almost like we were sitting outside the Villa once again; letting the kids run wild while we vented, supported each other’s opinions, and learned about each other.

We went to a kite festival, where there were also a lot of carnival type rides and a climbing wall.

We went to the Field Museum, where we saw "Sue" the dinosaur, real treasure from a pirate ship (no pictures allowed), played dress up in a forest, built towers with blocks, and played musical instruments from around the world.

We went to a living history museum, where the kids dressed up once again, this time as pioneers, and we saw a little bit about how frontier life was back in the day. We also went down to our river walk and walked around a little. But the path is often RIGHT NEXT to the water and we were all afraid of our crazy sleep-deprived children falling into the water. So we didn't stay too long.

I know Karin would be nice and forget to tell all the mistakes I made: like when we went to the kite festival, I took us to the wrong parking lot and we had to walk a million miles across a field. The day after they had traveled thousands of miles to come and see us. Welcome to Illinois! Walk a mile with your baby, toddlers, and all the diaper bag supplies you can carry to get to the fun!

And how I planned for us to go to the Field museum on Wednesday because it's free that day. Then finding out they changed the free days to one Monday a month in the summer, which happened to be the day before I found out. So we decided to still go, but they had to pay LOTS of $$ to get us in (prices are seriously outrageous, that's why I so frugally prepared to go on the free day). I am such an idiot. But now I've worked out the mistakes, so you can come back any time Karin, really. It will be better. And any other friends who come visit will benefit from the mistakes I made. I'm much wiser now.

Really! Come and visit us!

April showers bring May visitors

2009-05-26T18:17:00.005-04:00

We have had a plethora of visitors this month. Luckily, we have also had some really fabulous spring weather too. We had our very dear friends visit from Kansas City for 5 days, then the next week had John’s Mom, sister, and two nieces come for 4 days. It has been a whirlwind of happy children, cooking for large groups, being tourist-y, playing games, and enjoying each other’s company. Celebrating Hannah’s birthday was also thrown into the mix somehow. We are now preparing for and looking forward to Karin and family coming to visit! I thought I’d better get some pictures and posting up before they come or I would have too much to write about.

Juli made Hannah's cake for her birthday, and Hannah had very definite ideas about what she wanted. She even drew a picture of exactly how she wanted it to look. Juli made her dreams come true with this cake. And Hannah had so much fun helping and watching. She was also SOOOO happy that her best friends could be here for her birthday. Especially since this was her year for just a family party.

We went to Navy Pier with John's family and had such a great time. The weather was PERFECT: sunny but not too hot. The crowds were a little daunting, but not unbearable. We went on the huge ferris wheel, and we made Garrett go with us even though he is deathly afraid of heights. There were a few times when I thought he might lose his lunch, but he made it through and was even smiling at one point.

We also went on a few other rides, and let the kids play in the water fountain so they got soaking wet before we went home.

Now the kids are looking forward to another visit from very dear friends. Maybe I can use another visitor as motivation for them to clean their rooms!

In which my son teaches me

2009-05-08T09:36:00.002-04:00

It really is wonderful what your kids can teach you. As mine have been getting “older” I have learned even more from them, about them, and about myself.

For my non-LDS friends, I would like to explain a little bit about testimony meeting. One Sunday a month, our church meeting gives 30 – 40 minutes to any members of the congregation that would like to come to the front and speak to the congregation. This is a time to share testimony of Jesus Christ, what you have learned, and uplifting experiences. It is a great way to share your faith; and as you share, you are strengthened, and those who are listening are strengthened as well. That being said, it is also a little nerve-wracking to have everyone listening to you. I personally do not go up very often, probably less than once a year. John does a little more often, maybe 3 times a year. Some people always have something to say and go up every month. Even children are encouraged to give their testimony if they feel inclined.

A few weeks ago, Garrett asked me during the hymn if he could go give his testimony when it was time. I was surprised, but of course said “Sure!” He was positively squirming in his seat waiting for the time to arrive. I started to get a little worried. What was he going to say? He’s so shy. . .would he get nervous and freeze up? I leaned over and asked him what he was going to talk about. “Prayer,” he whispered back succinctly. OK. I trusted him to speak from the heart and stay on topic (during our family night at home, we take turns giving a lesson and whoever is doing it is encouraged to give their testimony at the end. Garrett has gotten really “good” at this lately, often bringing in his own experiences and tying it in with the lesson).

The time arrived and Garrett bounced out of his seat and started up to the front. At the same time, an adult started walking up too and Garrett was confused about what to do (usually just head up to the front and take a seat to wait your turn) so he came back and sat down. When the adult finished, again Garrett bounced out of his seat to head up to the front. He was so eager, I couldn’t believe it. I raised my eyebrows at John, who WAS this boy?

He got to the microphone and began eagerly, “I’d like to bear my testimony that prayer is really important and it works.” Suddenly he was overcome with emotion and nervousness and started to cry. He hid his face in his hands but stayed there. I jumped up and went to join him. He turned his face into me and I told him he was doing a great job. Was there anything else he wanted to say? He nodded and tried to quickly compose himself. “I was having a really hard time in Math and it made me feel so bad. So I prayed for help and I worked really hard and now I can do it. Prayer really works.” This was all said in a tearful voice while I had my arm around him. As I looked out to all our friends, I saw that many of them had tears in their eyes. He closed in the name of Jesus Christ and went to sit down. I briefly bore my testimony as well and sat down. Several people who spoke referred to his testimony, and many personally spoke to him after the meeting saying how great he did. He took this all in his usual shy way, and he seemed embarrassed by all the attention. I think he wished that everyone would promptly forget it all and leave him alone. I asked him later if he was embarrassed, but he said no. I told him how proud we were of him and hoped that he would share his testimony often. I really hope this won’t put him off of sharing in the future. John and I want to be encouraging but not pushy at all. You can’t force faith, after all.

Hopefully, whatever problems we face, whether they are math problems or health problems, financial problems, or anything else, we can all turn to the Lord in prayer and work really hard, and then we can get through it.

Here's a fun story for you

2009-04-20T12:02:00.004-04:00

My family is planning a reunion for this summer. Because of the health of my parents, we are having it near their home. If any of you have ever been there (St. George) you know how absolutely painful it is in the summer. So hot. You just want to lie in the air conditioning with the shades drawn. Except my parents keep their house at a sweltering 85 degrees, so there’s not much relief there. I had vowed to never go there during the summer again (that story in a moment), but I did break that vow to go help Mom and Dad after her first radiation treatment of the big tumor. It was August. To my surprise, I didn’t find it as unbearable as I thought I would, and I found myself wondering if I am getting old. Don’t get me wrong—it was horribly hot. And sunny. But it really WAS a dry heat, and compared to the sticky humidity of Chicago August, it wasn’t really that bad. I just had to make sure I drank 10 gallons of water a day.

So here’s the story of my bad experience with the summers there. My dad’s parents also retired to S.G. and were living there during my childhood. When I was about 6, my whole family drove out there from NJ, and then my parents left the four youngest of us with Grandma and Grandpa. The plan was for us to stay 4 or 5 days with them and then they would bring us to Vegas where we would reunite. I can’t remember why they didn’t want us little kids with them, I think there was some event like graduation or something (cousins live there). Grandma was slightly crazy; I don’t know what Dad was thinking leaving us there. I mean, he ran away from home when he was 16 to get away from them. She had us all sleep on one bed in the basement, but the first night one brother wet the bed and we were all banished to the floor (you know the kind of basement floor—a cement slab not even covered with thin carpet). Our ages were 3, 5, 7, and 10, but we were almost to our birthdays.
Here is a typical day for us in the middle of July in the hot desert: Grandma would wake us up early, at 6:30 am and give us breakfast of wheat toast and milk (I hate drinking milk but she tried to make me, I think I gave mine to a sibling while she wasn’t looking). By 8 am, she shooed us out of the house, pointing the way to the park. We would play at the park for awhile, but the sun would soon have us sitting listlessly in the shade. Grandma would not let us back in the house. We periodically went back to check if she had left any food for us on the back porch. One time she left some watermelon slices, we were so happy! She would leave our lunch out there too, bologna sandwiches on that same wheat bread. I hate bologna. There were rarely any other kids at the park—the residents knew better than to play out there in the summer. It was brutal. Everyone was at the pool or reservoirs, or something to do with water.

My grandparents lived close to the LDS temple which has a visitor’s center. It was air conditioned. HALLELUJAH! We would spend most of our time from lunch to dinner at the visitor’s center. They had NICE grandma types there who would look at us pityingly with our dirty clothes (from being at the park all morning), un-brushed hair, sunburned faces, and let us watch whatever church movies we wanted. We memorized Johnny Lingo, John Baker’s last run, and every single Mormon commercial out there. Ah, yes, I have very fond memories of that visitor’s center.
When we went home for dinner, Grandma had us wash our feet and hands in the utility sink in the garage. She was never affectionate (hugs), or happy to see us (“Welcome back!”) and we all felt very unwanted. One day when we were playing at the park, I fell off the merry go round and cut my leg very badly. Heather (10) ran back to Grandma’s and banged on all the doors, but she wouldn’t open up. Heather even saw her through the window, and tried to wave to her, but she pretended to be asleep (she dropped her book and nodded her head when she saw H at the window). H finally gave up and came back to us. She had my brother take off his shirt and she used it to clean it up as best we could with the (very warm) water from the water fountain. I still have the scar.

There’s a little more to the story, mostly just that we all had to squeeze into the cab of a pickup truck to drive 2 hours to Vegas (Aaron and I down by their feet and the other two on the bench seat with Grandma and Grandpa), but I think it may be time to let it go because I’m getting a little depressed. I am so glad my children have grandparents who help them know that they are loved. Every kid should have that blessing.

Happier stuff: We went to an indoor water park and had a blast. And Easter was fun, though a lot more commercial than I would have liked (thanks to my big sister). Here are some pictures.

Contamination!

2009-03-15T08:47:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been, how can I say it nicely. . . somewhat unpleasant. John has been working on a site (doing water sampling) up in a city two hours away right on Lake Michigan. He gets up at 4:30 am so he can leave by 5 so he can get there by 7. That by itself would be bad enough even if he could leave by 4pm. Which he should be able to do. But they have had some major problems with flooding, ice, equipment malfunction, safety hazards, and just about anything you can think of short of explosions and gunfire. He has had to stay up there until 8 pm most nights, and some nights until 10 or 11. By the time he drives the 2 hours home and takes off his damp and smelly clothes (yes, this is CONTAMINATED water), he is too exhausted to even speak. He just falls into bed and sets his alarm for 4:30 again.

Now, some of you may be remembering at this point, “Wait a minute, didn’t John just start his EMBA program too? When does he study?” That is a good question. Since he was carpooling up to Waukegan with a coworker, I suggested he study in the car. But he felt like that would be rude. There were a few nights that he got home at 8 or 9 and he was able to study for an hour before he collapsed in a delirious heap. To top it all off, this past weekend, he had two exams AND a final exam. He was worried and studied for as many hours as he could stay awake. He thinks he did pretty well though. He is so happy the last two weeks are over. He has to work in Waukegan for the next week, but then he should be back to normal hours in the office. Thank goodness.

And what is a wife to do? I can’t go to work for him, can’t study for him. The most I could do is keep things running here, not make any demands on him, wash his contaminated clothes before they contaminated the house (it smelled like sewer water), and make his lunch for him. I think I did pretty well for two weeks. But my goodwill and sympathy ran out last night, as I practically demanded that he do the dishes. I’ll try to be better now.

I thought I’d update on my Mom, as I haven’t said anything about how she is doing. After that first large tumor (she has metastatic melanoma) in her brain was treated with radiation, they found another small tumor and treated it right before Christmas. She has lost a lot of hair and has been pretty depressed about it. She refuses to get a wig, though. She has made a remarkable recovery. There is some brain damage from the first tumor and radiation. Reading is laborious and difficult for her to understand. Her eyesight in one eye was affected, as well as hearing in one ear. She practices all the time though, because the doctors told her she can form new neural pathways. She exercises almost every day, and is getting strong, and probably more fit than I am! The bad news is, that once melanoma has moved through the lymph system, it will keep popping up. Since chemotherapy doesn’t work well with melanoma, and because of Mom’s advanced age, it would do more harm than good. The best we can do is have her scanned, poked, and prodded very often and take care of each tumor as it comes. We are so blessed to have her with us for as long as we can. My Dad is doing ok, he has good days and bad days. We are so thankful that physically, he is doing wonderfully: he goes on long rambling walks with his home healthcare workers, he is continent, feeds himself, dresses himself, etc. His helpers come every morning and evening. They think Dad is funny and wonderful, which makes us all happy. Neither Dad nor Mom can drive now, so the helpers drive them around to doctor’s appointments and other errands, and get Dad ready for the day and then ready for bed at night. Mom is so glad that she can still be with Dad. She was dreading putting him into a home. We are all glad we can put it off for a little longer. Thank you everyone for your concern, prayers, and good wishes.

Now, I’m off to be a nicer wife. Wish me luck because it don’t come natural.

Because I'm old and un-hip like that

2009-02-18T22:29:00.000-05:00

We got a karaoke machine for Christmas and my kids have had a great time singing along to the Beatles, Journey, and even some church music. But after they had some friends over, I’ve realized that we need some new music that other kids will know. It was a little embarrassing for them to try to get their friends excited about Yellow Submarine and Wheel in the Sky (my kids know these by heart, is that weird?) Unfortunately, I am sadly out of date with music (hence beatles and journey). So what music out there is kid friendly, fun, clean, and I guess popular? Do I need to get some Hannah Montana? Who are the current faves?

Here are some pictures to look at while you think:

The kids built a snowman

And we went back to Nauvoo, this time with the kids and met up with their best friends and shared log cabin with them. It was a ton of fun!

The joys of a Chicago winter

2009-01-16T08:28:00.000-05:00

This morning as I write this, the actual air temperature outside is -22. With the wind chill, it feels like -38. My garage door froze up and I had to close it manually. They cancelled school yesterday and today because it is too dang cold. I'm supposed to take the trash out to the curb, but I find myself pondering if it's really worth it.

So, you know when it's 20 degrees outside, and it feels so cold and you debate whether or not you should let the kids play outside in the snow but they're driving you crazy so you think "30 minutes won't kill them" and you throw them out and they come back later with red cheeks and dripping noses and you make them hot chocolate because you feel a tiny bit guilty? IT'S FORTY DEGREES COLDER THAN THAT. They haven't been able to enjoy the lovely snow, except from our frozen windows that have ICE ON THE INSIDE! Everyone says this is unusually cold (it certainly wasn't this cold last winter), but that doesn't change the fact that I am freezing, and that I have been fondly remembering the brown inversion days in Logan.

On the plus side, since we haven't left the house for two days, I've been focusing on Kevin's potty training and he has made plenty of progress. Yay!

Here's a picture of a bridge near us:

The Art of Compromise

2009-01-04T09:30:00.002-05:00

We hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year’s. We have been pretty low-key here. My sister left in mid-December to stay with my parents, and she did a lot of preparation before she left. She wrapped almost all the presents (I hate wrapping and I’m terrible at it—John makes fun of my ugly wrapping all the time, but really, the kids don’t care and it seems like a big waste of time to wrap up something nicely and then have them tear it open without looking at your wrapping job. . .but I digress). She also organized the gingerbread house decorating that is our Christmas tradition. Since she did all that before she left, we didn’t have a whole lot of work to do as we got closer to Christmas. We did our traditional Shepherd’s dinner on Christmas Eve and read from the Bible. We opened one special present on Christmas Eve. My sister who lives in South Dakota sent us a karaoke machine which the kids love, of course. They love the microphone, and I’m hoping that they will continue to love it while I put in the hymns and children’s music for them to sing along.

John gave me some shelves and storage things for my scrapbooking stuff. . .no doubt in the hopes that I would actually DO something in our scrapbook. I haven’t done anything since we moved here and it seemed an impossible task to conquer. But I did organize everything and ordered prints of digital pictures from the year of 2006. I know myself and once I get started, I will really be obsessed until I’m done. It’s one of my goals for the year to get caught up, and I don’t think it will be a problem.

Do you like flannel sheets? John does. He LOVES them. They make him feel warm and cozy. He loves getting into bed and being instantly enveloped in warmth. I don’t like them. In fact, I despise them. They are irritating, make me sweaty in the middle of the night, and impede my turning over (I feel like a flannel person stuck on a flannel board). In September, John starts getting antsy and tells me to put them on because it’s SOOO cold getting into bed at night. I resist for as long as I can, but eventually give in around Halloween. This has happened every year for 8 years, since we moved from John’s native Texas and he bought the flannel sheets. This year, in September after I told him there was NO WAY we were going to put on the flannel sheets yet, he said “You should just cut them in half and sew them together with a regular sheet.” I was so frustrated with him and his annoyances, I stormed out of the room. Later I started thinking, that’s not a bad idea. It would be a good Christmas present. I began searching garage sales for some flannel sheets. It took awhile, but I found some in October and with the help of a good friend who is much better at sewing than I am, I custom-made some sheets for our bed. Compromise has been reached, sleeping arrangements are ideal, and marital bliss has been restored. As I turn over during the night, I am thankful that I am not stuck on flannel, and thankful I have a husband who can see a solution where I only saw an impasse.

University of Notre Dame

2008-12-16T08:58:00.000-05:00

The time has come for that all important next career step. Lajuana has dreaded this moment since I graduated knowing I wanted to go on and get my MBA. But she has been fully supportive in my application process (which has been over a year now) and now starting the program; she's the best! Many of you know me as one who plans well in advance, uses strategy, and is very thoughtful in my decisions. With that said I researched and checked out tons of programs and types or formats of programs; full-time, part-time, and executive. I ended up choosing the executive MBA format, which is set up for little bit older professionals, a condensed program length, cohort style (you all start at the same time and take the same classes at the same time), and classes set up not as often as part-time. I ended up narrowing down my choice and applying to the University of Chicago and the University of Notre Dame. The subsequent interview and visit made me realize that Notre Dame is where I wanted to go. It was an interesting process, praying to know what university to apply too and having the answer include Notre Dame and then later praying to know if I should attend since I was accepted. The overwhelming answer was yes, I think there are several reasons as I look back now why that could be but I'm just so glad prayers are answered.

I have a friend in my Ward that got his Masters degree there and said its "where every good Mormon goes". He is a funny guy. The University of Notre Dame MBA program is ranked 20th in the nation and is highly respected especially here in Chicago. As I looked more into the program it felt like a good choice. Interesting stat, 5% of the MBA students at Notre Dame are LDS. Here is how my program works; every other full Friday and Saturday are spent in downtown Chicago campus (they own the entire Santa Fe building), several one week immersion weeks on the Notre Dame campus (about 100 miles from home), and one international week (I think we are going to China). Last week was orientation on the main campus. We had introductions, a campus tour, social events, math and accounting reviews, and got together with our team. The director selects teams that consist of very different backgrounds; I'm on a team of 5 that will stay together through the whole program. On Friday night Lajuana drove up, leaving our kids at our good friends house, for a dinner at the press boxes at the football stadium (not sure if you know but ND is kind of known for its football). It was a fun dinner talking with other couples that are in program. The next day Lajuana and I went to class :) We had this great presentation and interaction on personalities. It was very fun. The overall all experience was amazing! As the first person in my family to graduate college and now the first to go to grad school I feel very fortunate to be involved in such a great program. Is it going to be hard? It will be amazingly hard for me as well as for Lajuana and the kids. Will it be worth it? I have complete faith it will be.

As a side note, attending Notre Dame opens up conversations with lots of people. At orientation I was able to talk to several people about my faith and their faiths; a Jewish person, Protestants, Catholics, and non-practicing people. The environment there enables open discussion of religion, business, and goals. It is neat and I look forward to taking in the whole experience.

-- John

The Dome

Inside the Dome

The football stadium. Seats 80,000! The current University undergrad count is 8,000 and grad count is 3,000. Often the stadium is packed and another 100,000 tail-gating in the parking lot. As a student I get two tickets in the student section, so heck yea I'm planning on going!

You can't tell from this picture but the business building is super nice inside. The undergrad business program ranks 3rd in the country.

The derby

2008-11-28T18:15:00.001-05:00

When I was growing up I was never involved in the scouting program. So I never had the chance to master the art of the Pinewood Derby. Now that I have kids I don’t want them to miss out on this fun chance to learn cool things and to build and race a Pinewood Derby car. This is Garrett’s second year, meaning my second chance at making a car that can do decently.

As any good Dad would do, I researched the physics and dynamics of the race. What aspects of the car could I improvise and create better. My conclusion was that the friction of 4 wheels was the major cause of drag to the car. To fix it was to remove a wheel. I looked online for this common solution and found many people saying to raise one of the wheels so it doesn’t touch the track but none saying to remove the entire wheel. So my engineering mind went to work to figure out a cool solution. The problem though is that I’m not a mechanical engineer so I never studied in depth dynamics. So my limited exposure would have to do to conceive, design, and build a 3 wheeled car!

I presented Garrett with two options for the pinewood derby, 1) build a regular car and improve on what we learned last year or 2) build an experimental 3-wheeled car that may go faster or may just fly off the track! Without a moments pause Garrett said very excitedly “let’s do the 3-wheeled one!”

I actually did some calculations in my design to try and alter the center of gravity and position the weights to not only keep the car on three wheels but to have the weights positioned to improve the performance and hopefully speed down the track. The finished car was balanced and tested in our home. The result of the testing was that it went straight. The true test came when we went to the derby!

Let me just say that there are some serious Dad’s out there with real intent on winning. Garrett and I had a goal to win but our winning would come if the car stayed on the track and did decent. Plus I must add that even though I did the design work I let Garrett do cut, sand, and paint the car. I tried to get him involved with the whole process to make it his car. I must say that the cars at this derby seemed to be professionally manufactured by Dads intent on breaking land speed records. I mention that just because we had different goals with the race. When we submitted the car for weighing the leader said “I can tell whose Dad is an engineer!” It was kind of funny and Garrett looked at me and said he knows you’re an engineer!

The night of the race, the true test. Garrett was in the second group to race. I was so nervous. I must say running a 3-wheeled car down a track and having your son look at you in hopes we did it right is some pressure. I held my breath as it went down the track! It went smoothly down with no problems…3rd place. Four heats in total before the semifinals and the car made it in 3rd place each time and then 2nd a couple times. Success! The car stayed on the track and did very decently and I count it a win for us. We had a great time through the process and look forward to next year and who knows what kind of crazy ideas we come up with.

-- John

School money blues

2008-11-20T10:51:00.000-05:00

I am so annoyed at the school. Does this happen to anyone else? Do they send home notes that say "We're making you a special present. Please send $6, and don't ask your child about it, it's a secret!" Now, I don't mind special secret presents. But I DO mind if you make me fork over money for it. I would be just as happy with something a LOT cheaper (i.e. in the school's budget). Especially when I just paid $12 for Garrett's field trip and $4 for Hannah's, and $6 for the social studies magazine subscription, and $6 each for them to join the lunchtime book club (book NOT included) and on and on and on. Now, I was a teacher, and I know how difficult it is to make choices for your students with a limited budget. But hello people! That's what a budget is for! If your budget can't afford it, think of something else to do rather than pass on the cost to the parents. I know a lot of teachers use their own money for school supplies and rewards, etc. but I also know that is NOT the case here. They solicit parent donations of toys, treats, stickers, etc. for rewards, and they solicit us whenever they need more school supplies, and solicit us to buy more books for their classroom.

**SIDE NOTE: We also have to pay a REGISTRATION FEE to the school district every year for our public school! It's $80 per child. I'm not going to go into details right now, but rest assured I fought that all the way to the Illinois Board of Education who told me if I don't pay, then (though they can't refuse to educate my child) the school district can take me to small claims court or put it into a collections agencey. When I asked what the money is used for the answer I got was "Why, to educate your child!" Um, what is our $10,000/year taxes used for then?**SIDE NOTE ENDED

I'm not a big gift giver either (not one of my love languages--I'm a quality time and acts of service woman). I tried ignoring the note, thinking to myself "I'm not paying for a present for myself that I don't agree with on principle." I even ignored the second reminder note with the due date (a week earlier) circled in red. AND the third note with the cost highlighted and the now 2-week-past deadline underlined TWICE. I toyed with continuing my passive-agressive stance and refusing to pay. But my sweet 6 year old, who had spent the weekend in the hospital, her I couldn't ignore when she said, "Mom, we're the LAST ones who haven't turned in our money. Should I just get it out of my piggy bank? Do I have $6 in there?" Then I felt bad. Though I shouldn't have to pay for a gift I didn't ask for, SHE shouldn't have to pay the school for it either. And they definitely should not be making her feel bad because she's the only one who hasn't paid.

I sent in my check today. It better be special.

The bad mom syndrome

2008-11-14T07:43:00.000-05:00

I know most of us parents often feel like we're not doing the best job we can, and there even some moments when we feel we're doing a very bad job. I had one of those moments last weekend.

On Saturday evening, we all noticed that Hannah seemed to be dragging a little and we were thinking she was probably coming down with yet another cold/cough. By bedtime, she was coughing and wheezing and didn't look too good. I sent her off to bed thinking she would probably be better by morning. She was very excited to be involved in the children's program at church on Sunday. She had memorized her part, she was brave and ready to talk into the microphone. She woke up around 2 am coughing pretty badly again, but I went in to give her some water and sit with her for a minute, and she was instantly asleep again. But she was even wheezing in her sleep. Well, it can't be that bad if she can sleep, right?

She woke up again less than an hour later still struggling to breathe. I started using all my tricks. Steamy bathroom, rocking in the rocking chair (yes she is pretty big for this, but it's a good way to keep her upright, and yes my legs did fall asleep), she was still having problems, so I even tried the instant croup fix which worked on her as a baby, and on Garrett as a 5 yr. old--I took her outside to the cold night air. Nothing worked. Finally, I held her in my lap as I searched the internet for what might be the problem. She fell asleep again, so I laid her on the couch and I laid next to her. She continued to wheeze in her sleep, but again, she WAS asleep. So again, I thought, it can't be that bad. She wasn't running a fever. So I dozed next to her. She was pretty restless.

At about 6:30 am, I woke up John and made him take my place while I went back to bed to get a little sleep. When I came down about an hour later, she still looked horrible, and she was awake. The first thing she said to me was "I guess I can't be in the program" with such a sad wheezy little voice. So I called our doctor's on call service, hoping to bring her in around 8 or 9 because I knew they had clinic hours on Sundays. The doctor didn't even call me back until 9:30. He asked me two or three questions and then said to take her to the ER. I said, "Shouldn't I just take her to the clinic?" And he said "She needs immediate treatment to help her breathe." So I left the boys with Denise to get ready for church, I picked up John who was already at church for leadership meetings, and we took Hannah to the ER. She fell asleep again.

We didn't have to wait AT ALL at the ER. They took us immediately back and the first thing they did was check her oxygen saturation, and it was 87. If any of you don't know about sats, that is VERY BAD. When I saw that, I just started crying like crazy, hiding my face from Hannah. I can't believe I let her go ALL NIGHT like this. I should have brought her in 10 hours earlier! I collected myself pretty quickly (I like to think), and helped them get a nebulizer mask with oxygen on her. There were a million doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, and I don't know who else, that came in and listened to her lungs and all of them exclaimed at how bad she sounded. The doctor said it was an extremely severe asthma attack. The nebulizer had albuterol, and then they gave her an oral liquid prednisolone. She wasn't really responding. They said if the couldn't get her a little more stable, they would have to admit her to the ICU. Then she threw up the prednisolone. So they decided to put in an IV, give her the prednisolone through there, and admit her to the ICU. She looked horrible. And scared, and didn't know what was going on.

We finally went to the ICU around 1 pm. She had been on the continuous nebulizer the whole time (except while traveling to the ICU). She looked a little better, but she had so many things sticking out of her. . .the oxygen meter on a finger, the IV in her arm, the blood pressure cuff on the other arm, the mask on her face, and three wires to her chest that measured her heart rate and respiration rate. I wish I had taken a picture, but obviously that was the last thing on my mind. By this time, she was pretty stable, but still obviously needed the continuous treatment. She had that until 6 pm. Eight hours! And then they gave her a ten minute treatment every hour until about midnight. In between, they had her on the oxygen going into her nose, which she HATED. She kept taking it out while I wasn't looking. I hate it too--I always try to refuse oxygen while I'm birthing but they always slip it on while I'm busy. Finally, I asked the nurses to keep it off and see how her oxygen was. They said, "I'm sure she'll need it while she's sleeping." But she didn't, hooray!

On Sunday evening, a bunch of Hannah's friends from church came to visit her, and they even brought presents that would help distract her. She wasn't really ready for reading or coloring, but she was feeling well enough to talk a little and listen to them tell about how the program went, and how they missed her. She had perked up a lot while they were there. After they left, I tried to settle her in to sleep. However, the meds they were giving her made her jittery and sweaty and not sleepy at all. We watched one more movie, then she finally fell asleep. Of course someone was constantly coming in to listen to her breathing, or to give her a treatment, or talk to me about her progress. This was at the rate of about two people per hour until about 1 am, when they changed her status from ICU to "floor status" which meant they could check her less often. So the rate slowed to one person per hour. Obviously, we got little sleep. Hannah is a very light sleeper anyway, so this was pretty horrible. Every time she was awakened, she would ask me questions and was being all chatty. When she finally would get back to sleep, 20 minutes later she was awakened again. Oh what a night! She woke up for good after her 5 am treatment. She was excited to look at her new books and coloring pages.

John took Monday off from work, saw Garrett off to school, took Kevin over to a friend's, then came to the hospital. I went home to sleep. The doctors said Hannah could probably come home that night. They had changed her treatments to every two hours, then to every three hours, then four. They took off all her monitors except the oxygen. They FINALLY took out the IV. Then they said she could come home. I was very nervous that they were handing over her care to me. I don't know anything about asthma, or her medications. But they taught me how to give her an inhaler, and said I didn't need a nebulizer at this point, and maybe this was just an isolated incident and she won't have any more asthma attacks. We can hope.

Anyway, we're home now and Hannah's gone to school. She seems fine, except she still coughs off and on. They said coughing is good though, it gets the phlegm out. Here is a picture of her on Monday morning. She looks great, doesn't she? Of course they had to tape the iv pretty forcefully so she wouldn't keep knocking it out.

If any of you have advice, I would love to hear it. I know I'm not a bad Mom, so don't worry about telling me that. We all just feel like that sometimes.

Kevin's story

2008-11-01T13:21:00.000-04:00

I thought since Kevin's birthday is coming up, I would write about his birth. Since he is the most recent of my babies, it is probably the one I remember most clearly too. Of course, my memory ain't what she used to be.

As background, Garrett's birth was planned out naturally, but interventions snowballed into me having an epidural and the doctor using forceps and doing a 4th degree episiotomy. With Hannah, we were moving (actually John had already moved but came home for a week to be there for the birth and then pack up our house), so she was induced, I had an epidural, and again, 4th degree epi.

Finally, with Kevin, I armed myself with a lot of knowledge, research, and anecdotes. With the help of supportive friends, I was ready for my dream birth. He was due Oct. 27th, and I was sure I would be early, though I never had been before. Of course Halloween came and went, with no cute little infant to put in the pumpkin costume I bought for him. I pigged out on the kids' Halloween candy. Finally, over a week past the due date, he decided to make his appearance. I was lying down because I was going to go to a doctor's appointment and I was a little stressed out because I knew he wanted to induce (or at least do tests that would make them think they had to induce). When I got out of bed, I felt a little trickle, and knew my water had broken. I noticed there was a little meconium, but didn't get worried. I told the kids (Garrett was almost 6 and Hannah 3 1/2) the basics--they had been following along in the month by month magazine and knew all about the amniotic bag of waters. Luckily, I had planned to pick up John from school and take him and the kids with me to the Dr. so I could have some moral support. I went to get him, and the first thing the kids said is "DAD, DAD, Mom's leaking!" I still wasn't really having contractions.

So we all went to the Dr. but they said to just go to the hospital. We took our kids to John's brother's house. It was about 3:30 on a Friday afternoon. I tried to talk John into taking me somewhere to eat, but he was too nervous. And to tell the truth, I wasn't really hungry. I just wanted to postpone going to the hospital as long as possible. I couldn't think of anywhere I really wanted to go, so we ended up just going to the hospital. And I was a little nervous as well, since I'd never had my water break before, and I didn't like the color of the fluid coming out.

When we checked in, the first thing I had to do was refuse iv fluids. And it wasn't the last time I had to say no thanks. The next thing I had to do was refuse pitocin. I got hooked up to the monitors and they saw not many contractions (about 10 min apart--I could have told them that), and the baby was tolerating them well. They let me off the monitors around 5 pm and that was when my doula Becky came. I walked around a little, used a birthing ball, and generally tried to get the labor going. It didn't really work. At my first exam, I was at a 3, and around 7 pm I was still a 3, and he hadn't really moved down either. They hooked me up to the monitors again and noted some decellerations in his heartbeat. The meconium looked darker and thicker at this point. They went over a few options, and I finally decided on a tube to flush clean fluids around the baby, minimizing his chances of aspirating a concentrated amount of meconium. This, of course, meant that I would have to stay in bed. It also meant that it would slow down the contractions even more. The Dr. promised me that he would let me try it naturally for as long as it was safe for me and the baby. Around 9 pm, he came in again and said he had been watching my monitors and the baby's heartbeat was slowing down way too much. While he was talking to me, I had another contraction, and the heartbeat slowed down under 80. The Dr. said, "Two more like that and we're rushing you to and emergency c-section." I started sobbing, and his heartrate kicked up quickly. I agreed to have pitocin to see if I could at least get him out vaginally before they sliced me open. I made the Dr. and nurses PROMISE to start me on the very lowest dose, and to turn it off once I got to a 5 (with my other two kids I went from 5 to 10 in less than an hour).

So they started the pitocin. And BAM! It really kicked me into high gear. Becky did some pressure points on my feet and I could feel the baby moving down. And it HURT! I made them check me at about 10:00 and I was at a 5/6. They turned it off, but boy, it did not feel like it. The contractions were on top of each other, barely letting up at all. I asked Becky and John both to check and make sure the pit was off, because I couldn't believe it. Toward the end, I think if I could have caught my breath enough to talk, or had any coherent thought, I would have asked for an epidural. Maybe. The baby's heart rate continued at a semi-acceptable rate, though the decellerations were lower than they would have liked. At about 11 pm, as one contraction ebbed, I suddenly felt very nauseous. "I feel sick," I gasped. John patted me on my shoulder, thinking to himself (probably): "Of course she feels sick, she's about to have a baby." At my words, however, Becky sprang away from the bed, found a bedpan, and practically tossed it to John right as I heaved in his general direction. I threw up for the next few minutes, and let me tell you, it is NOT FUN to throw up while you are having contractions. Nothing is fun when your in the last stage of labor, I guess, but throwing up just makes it that much worse. Meanwhile, Becky was positively crowing: "You're going to have the baby soon!" And I groggily remembered that heaving is a sign of transition. She called the nurse in.

Sure enough, a few minutes later I was curled up in as tight a fetal position as I could be with my big belly, moaning with some major pressure. They checked me and I was 10, ready to push. I had been lying on my left side, as that seemed to be the best for the baby's heart rate. I pushed on my side once, but the heart rate was dipping super low again, and they were serious about getting him out FAST! So up I sat, pushed a few times without holding my breath. They kept telling me to hold my breath, but in my perfect birthing plan I didn't want coached pushing, and I wanted to push on my side without holding my breath, so that the baby would move down a little more slowly and I wouldn't need an episiotomy. Becky knew all this, and knew all my concerns about interventions. During a break after my 3rd or 4th push, the dr. said "Push again between contractions." I said "I can't" and he snipped me a tiny episiotomy (it didn't even need to be stitched later) I felt it, but it was only a tiny pinch. Then I heard Becky's voice quietly say: "Lajuana, the next one you have to hold your breath and really push him out. NOW." I learned later that his heart rate was dipping in the 30's for the pushes and everyone was really freaking out. I had no idea, because I was really in the zone. Anyway, after Becky said that (I trusted her more than the nurses who didn't know me), the next push I held my breath, really put my all into it, and out he popped!

They took Kevin and sucked him out real good to make sure he wouldn't aspirate the meconium. He looked good, though. The Dr. showed me the placenta and we saw that the umbilical cord that attached to the placenta was really thin. He said he'd never seen anything like it. But he didn't seem too malnourished; he was 8 pounds, 1 ounce. Of course, he was very late and I was expecting him to be over nine pounds. Garrett was 8 lb. 11 oz. Anyway, the pediatric nurses came later and took him to the NICU because his blood sugar was extremely low and they were afraid he would have seizures.
He stayed in the NICU for a few days, and I stayed with him. He was HORRIBLE at nursing, sometimes taking over 30 minutes to latch on. But it's not like I had anything else to do in the hospital, so why not spend all day trying to get him to nurse? Later when we brought him home, it was a little more frustrating, but never really bothered me that much. Just time consuming. By the time he was 2 months, he was pretty normal.

Anyway, the main thing I noticed about having a non-medicated birth (besides the pain) was the recovery time. I swear I felt absolutely fabulous the second Kevin came out. I remember when the nurse brought me some ibuprofen shortly after the birth, I asked "What is this for?" and she said, "You'll be feeling pain soon, this will head it off." I said, "I'm feeling fantastic. If I'm hurting later I'll ask for it." But I never needed it. When the adrenaline/hormonal high wore off, I was still feeling great. I felt back to my normal self (better than my overdue pregnant self) by the morning, except for the heavy bleeding. Which is good because I spent a lot of time in a not-so-comfy chair in the NICU.

So I still have a dream of a perfect birth. I don't know if it will happen or not, since I'm gettin' up there in years, and we're not sure if we'll have any more children. Here are some pictures of my baby at 2 months, 3 months, and 8 months.

And here's one from just today, my big three-year-old:

Birthday Boy

2008-09-29T08:51:00.001-04:00

Just gotta say how fantastic my dear husband is. He is an old man now, but still finds time to play games and throw the kids around a little. We celebrated during the weekend, and though I went to bed without doing the dishes, he did them before he went to work this morning! Now that is an amazing man. He is absolutely tireless in his home improvement, always working on projects to make our home even more beautiful and elegant than it was before. He loves his family and loves mine as well, he has such a big heart. He puts up with me and all my quirks and habits--what more could I ask for? Here are some great photos of my Johnny, as a baby, boy, engaged man, and loving father.

10 Great Years

2008-09-08T16:09:00.000-04:00

What an amazing life, better than I could have ever imagined! After looking at different places, even our bed and breakfast honeymoon location in Maine and the beaches of Mexico, we decided on a more local and historic place to celebrate our historic anniversary. We left our kids with Lajuana's sister and spent all day Friday and Saturday in Nauvoo! It was a nice 4 hour drive from our house. We did miss an important turn on our way there and we ended up going across this neat bridge to the Iowa town of Burlington. I'm including a picture we took that will appeal to my engineering buddies who love bridges and regular people who will notice the cheap gas prices (we are still near $3.90 or higher in Chicago).

We ended up turning back, after we filled up...you don't think we're crazy to not take advantage of the "low" price, and made it no problems to Nauvoo. This was my first time and Lajuana had been but not since she was a teenager.

We drove though the center of the town and then around the area before stopping to eat. Now I'm not a picky eater, pretty much anything vegetarian will do. We also never really carry cash because...well we live in the modern era. Both things happen to make things challenging. We stopped at this one place and it was OK but not really anything. Then we went to another place with nice signs. We settled there cause they took checks, thankfully Lajuana brought her book. Let's say I ended up with grilled cheese (with American cheese...which really isn't even cheese) and some decent french fries. Lajuana ended up with a basic salad with chicken harder than the 150 year bricks holding the building up! Not to be snobby but our dinning experience was less than enjoyable. But we didn't go there for the food we went for the Temple!

I've been working on my genealogy and we were able to take my family names to the Temple that afternoon. What a great way to spend your anniversary! That night we walked around and found a great place to eat and they take credit cards, its called the Nauvoo Mercantile. So we ate and then took some more pictures. People were so friendly. People would come up and talk to us and we'd share in the excitement of being in Nauvoo. We meet a couple that had been married and were going to be sealed the next day and they were just glowing with excitement. Just about everyone we talked to asked us if we had been to Nauvoo before and if we were converts, which I am 13 years now and Lajuana's family goes back to the early years and includes family that lived in Nauvoo. The funny thing is almost everyone we talked to were also converts.

We stayed at a lovely B&B called the Ellis Sanders Home. It was fantastic and we'd highly recommend it if you come as a couple, not really a kid friendly place. The home was built in 1844 and their parlor was often used to host informal church meetings with records showing Brigham Young and others that came to the home. Ellis Sanders was also great friends with Heber C. Kimball. So it was neat to hang out in such a historic home.

Our cute bedroom with a sign welcoming us and congratulating us on 10 years.

Breakfast was later than we are used to, 9am, and none of the historic homes opened until 9am. So we took a drive and checked out some cool things. One interesting thing was a tunnel. I took some pictures of it and we enjoyed it but there were not any signs telling us about it. It wasn't until later when we went to the brick yard and they told us the story of how Joseph Smith directed people to build a canal and a tunnel to drain the swamp lands and that the tunnel we saw and took a picture of was the one built to drain the city. Pretty neat I think!

We also went to the bank of the Mississippi River which is right near the tunnel. The lilly pads and birds were so cool. Not to mention a huge spider that I almost walked right into, the thing was about three inches long. Any guesses on what kind it is? Was my life in danger?

We then went back to the B&B and had a wonderful! It was the best food in all of Nauvoo I am sure of it! We eat breakfast with another couple that stayed in the B&B and they were celebrating their 4 year anniversary. We enjoyed their company and we all went to the Temple after the great food. I must say the Nauvoo Temple inside is just amazing, peaceful, and touches of history. We had a fantastic time. Afterwards we went to the brickyard, the smith shop, and tons of historic homes. I won't bore you more with our trip. One funny thing is that on our way out of town we decided not to eat dinner there but went to that town we accidentally went to on our way there in Iowa and had a fantastic dinner right on the river, a place called the Drake.

Overall this was one of the most unique anniversaries we've had. We've gone to B&B's and love them, we've left our kids before, but we've never gone to a historic town like this with the entire focus of our vacation to be spent in the Temple. It was perfect and amazing, a great way to celebrate 10 years!

---JOHN

Pictures of the family

2008-08-31T09:02:00.000-04:00

Our happy bunch of kids. It's been a while since we had a photo session, so I took the chance and the light from the sun coming in our family room to take some pictures. The sad part is that I had 200 speed film in the camera and didn't realize it, so some of the pictures got over exposed. Yes I'm still in the age of film, our digital camera is good for general pictures but for portaits I like film. But anyway I think overall the pictures came out nice and hopefully give you some insight into Garrett, Hannah, and Kevin. --- John

Hannah, Kevin, Garrett

Garrett

Hannah

Kevin

My thoughts about Dad

2008-08-18T17:53:00.000-04:00

Let me first say that my Mom is doing well, getting stronger. Every other day, she walks on the treadmill for 15 minutes, and has been bugging me to call her doctor to see when she can go back to her water aerobics class! She has always been very fit and active. She is taking steroids to reduce the swelling in her brain from the tumor, and that wreaks havoc with her diabetes and her sleeping patterns. In a few weeks, she will be off the steroids, and at the end of September will have another MRI to find out if the tumor has shrunk and to see if there are any more popping up yet.

I have had a pretty hard time with my Dad. He has really declined in the last few years, but most noticibly in the last four months. He has been staying in a home since my Mom had her treatment. We bring him home for most of the day, about 9 or 10 am until 6 or 7 pm. Here's our conversation the first time I went to pick him up:
Dad: Well there's my little girl!
Me: I might be your youngest girl, but I'm the tallest girl in our family! (That's how I usually answer when he calls me little or youngest)
Dad: Well now, I didn't know that. (Confused and looking at the nurse): I haven't seen her in years and years!
I just kind of laughed it off and didn't contradict him.
Dad: What grade are you in now?
Me: I'm all done with school now. I'm a Spanish teacher (trying to keep it simple).
Dad: Really? A teacher?
Me: Yes, Dad, just like you were.
Dad: Like I was?
Me: You were a professor for 35 years.
Dad: I was?

When we came out to see them in April, my Dad gave me a bunch of Spanish magazines that he had been saving for me. He used to pick them up everywhere he went and save them in the garage. He knew I had started my Master's degree, and kept asking me when I would be done. So now, four months later, he doesn't remember that I'm an adult, that I finished college, started my master's, that I was teaching Spanish, or that even he himself was a professor. It was shocking.

It's strange, though, what functions do remain. He is able to read from the scriptures out loud every evening. He followed along in the hymn book singing quite well. He can do almost everything himself: put on his seat belt, brush his teeth, eat, dress. But you have to tell him every little step. Here is a typical meal:

Dad: Can I eat now?
Mom: Go ahead, but eat your corn first because the chicken is hot.
Dad: (picking up his fork) Do I use this?
Mom: Use your fingers (it was corn on the cob).
Dad: (Taking a bite) There's no stuff on this.
Mom: Put butter and salt on it.
Dad: Butter?
Mom: Here (pointing)
Dad: (Putting his corn down and picking up his fork)I better see what this is (poking at the chicken)
Mom: That's your chicken and it's too hot so don't eat it for a few minutes. Eat your corn.
Dad: My corn?

You see the pattern. Spoken words have little or no meaning for him. He repeats everything because he doesn't know what we're talking about. We have to point to things. But how do you point to "professor" or "sick"? He's actually quite amusing to listen to, but it gets frustrating at times. He often says things like "I wish I had never been born" or "When do I get to die?" or "I will be dead by next week." Which, naturally, is a little depressing.

The nurses in the home and most other people treat him like he is a child. Like a child with bad hearing. It bothers me, it makes me want to tell them all about his past. I want to put a sign on him that says "TREAT ME WITH RESPECT." They don't know that he ran away from an abusive home when he was 16, rode the rails and hitch hiked across the country, enlisted in the army, attended several prestigious universities while working, served an honorable mission in Argentina, taught Kindergarten in California, received his Masters and PhD while a young father, had ten children, was a tenured professor, managed money to raise ten children and then put every single one through college, served another mission with my mom, etc. That's not even the tip of the iceberg.

I take Dad out for a few hours every day so my Mom can rest. On one of our outings, I asked him to tell me how he met Mom. He couldn't remember. Many people with Alzheimer's can remember things from their childhood or past. I asked him a few different questions, even led him down the path a little way to see if he would remember. But he didn't. That was a little sad. He has better moments, but I would say that about 90% of the time he is as I described above.

I keep telling myself that we're doing the best we can for him, and all we can do is help him be happy for the next few years of his life. And if that means driving him by the church 5 times a day to show him that no one is there right now, well then, let's do it. It doesn't bother me. And I'm enjoying my time with him while there are no other demands on my attention (kids). He's pretty fun to be with.

Does anyone have any experience with Alzheimer's or dementia? I would love to hear some stories and/or advice.

I love the beach (for my kids)!

2008-08-12T12:10:00.000-04:00

I've decided that there are three types of beach goers: the kind that don't like it at all and just sit in a chair and try to keep sand out of everything; the kind that love it, swim in the ocean, build sand castles, and don't mind the sand in everything, including their swimsuit; and those that fall somewhere in between who like to go mostly for their children's sake. I fall into the last category--I don't LOVE going to the ocean, but I love seeing my kids have fun there. I like swimming and bobbing in the waves, but I don't love the jellyfish or stepping on crabs or shells. I like the relaxing feeling of sitting on the beach and knowing my kids are having fun with little entertainment from me. I love food at the beach, even though it gets a little sandy. It's fun to pop pretzels and grapes into my kids' mouths because their hands are too sandy to touch them. I like forgetting about the usual routines of meals and naps because we are having too much fun to leave the beach and return to that humdrum existence.

This vacation was a real break for me. I decided before I left that I would just take it easy, and make it a really fun vacation that the kids would remember. No stress, no yelling, and suspension of all but the most basic rules of good behavior. No time crunch, just let things come as they may. It turned out to be the most fun I've had in a long time. The only thing I missed was John and Denise, but to tell the truth (sorry my dear) I don't think it would have been so relaxing with John, or with Denise. We would have ended up arguing about somewhere to eat, or where to stop for gas, or I would have been more stressed about keeping things clean or that I wasn't doing enough with the kids, or upset that John was taking long naps while I "did all the work." Or upset that Denise was spoiling the kids or they were sassing her, or she didn't do things the way I normally would.

As it was, we had a great time. The kids played nicely with their cousins that were there (only two girls aged 10 and 14). The highlight for me was our bike ride. We thought it would be a good way to keep the kids busy for the morning, a challenging but not impossible ride to the ice cream store. We thought it might be about 2 miles but we clocked it later at 3.7 miles. As you can imagine, it was very hot and humid. Hannah has only been about a mile at a time on her little bike, so it was a real marathon to her. The ice cream store was closed when we got there, and Garrett instantly dissolved into frustrated tears that mixed with his perspiration. Luckily, a lady at the gift shop suggested the gas station and we went (walked!) there and let everyone pick out an ice cream bar or popsicle. It was a long ride home, but we made it. Hannah was so exhausted by the end (7.4 miles!!) that she forgot to use her brakes when she came down the steep driveway and ran right into the woods, scaring me (and herself) half to death. She wasn't hurt at all, not even a scratch. I had told all the kids that whoever didn't complain on the ride home would get a popsicle. And whoever said nice things about the ride would get their popsicle BEFORE LUNCH! I totally cracked up when they were trying to find good things to say: "That shade on the other side of the street looks nice." "I love these bumps in the path, they make it more fun." "This is a good day to go to the beach and swim in the water." I was really proud of all the kids (though Kevin just rode in the trailer) but especially Hannah pedalling 10 times what we all were on our big bikes. She is a strong little girl! I thought they would all be exhausted when we got back, but within 20 minutes in the air conditioning, they were jumping around just as hyper as ever. Kevin is the only one who was tired enought that when he sat down for a few minutes, he dropped off to sleep! And he didn't even have to pedal!

The kids were amazingly good in the van on the way down, and believe it or not, they were even better on the way home and I drove the WHOLE WAY IN ONE DAY! Yes, 16 hours of driving and caring for my 3 children all accomplished with patience and skill by yours truly. I was so, SO happy to get home and see John and see the remodeled family room. We don't have any pictures of that though, because our camera totally freaked out the last day at the beach and it is getting repaired. Thank goodness we got the 4 year warranty. Here are some beach and bike ride pictures, then I'll give you an update about our moms:

John's Mom is now able to put slight pressure on her foot, so now she doesn't have to hop with a walker, she can walk a little bit. She still can't drive of course, and her car is totalled, so she is still dependant on others to take her where she needs to go.

My mom has regained a little of her fine motor skills, and can read and comprehend a little better now. She has always been a quick healer and doctors are always amazed at how she bounces back after everything. She had planned on taking my Dad on a cruise in October, but she definitely would not be able to take Dad. She still wants to go, though. I am leaving on Thursday to stay with her until the following Saturday. I'm excited to go and spend time with her. My sister says I'll have to give her insulin shots because she can't do it herself. That is making me a little nauseous to think of, but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. My Dad is getting a little better about staying at the home, now that he has his routines. But he is still really lost and doesn't understand what's going on. I'm just hoping he will still recognize me as his daughter, because I can't bear the thought of completely losing him mentally. He usually remembers Allyson is his daughter, but every day says "It's nice to see you! It's been a long time!" and he never remembers her name, even though she's been there two weeks.

Please continue to pray for us. I really feel the prayers helping me. Did someone pray that my kids would be good and that I would stay sane on the long road trip by myself? It worked!

Mom updates

2008-08-01T09:08:00.000-04:00

John's Mom continues to mend slowly. She needs to be driven to the doctor several times a week, and also taken to the store. She has been able to eliminate pain killers during the day, but still needs to take one at night so she won't wake up in severe pain. She has a great attitude about her injury and loves for people to visit. We wish she didn't live so far away, so we could visit her more often.

My Mom went in for Gamma Knife radiation on Wednesday. The doctors are optimistic for her short-term recovery. The tumor is still there, but will hopefully begin to shrink in the next few weeks. In the meantime, she still has a lot of difficulty speaking, comprehending, and reading. The doctor believes this will likely improve as the tumor shrinks.

Unfortunately, the nature of melanoma is that once it has spread (called metastatic melanoma) through the lymphatic system, it is nearly impossible to irradicate from someone's body. It will find somewhere else to concentrate. Chemotherapy doesn't usually work very well with melanoma, and with my mom being almost eighty, the chemo would be more likely to kill her than help her. The survival rate for metastatic melanoma is about 10% living after five years. So needless to say, we are preparing for the end of her earthly life. My siblings and I are all taking a week or two to go out and be with her, to help as best we can, and spend some time with her. I will probably go from Aug. 14 to 22nd.

My Dad has not done too well in the nursing home. He keeps trying to escape and studies maps to figure out how to get back home. He doesn't understand why he can't be with Mom. Unfortunately, she is just too incapacitated to take care of him. Even when my sister brings him home for a few hours, he makes too many demands on my Mom, stressing her emotionally and physically. We are not sure what the next few weeks and months will bring, but of course there will be many changes and I am trying to prepare myself emotionally for those.

Denise and I had planned a trip to South Carolina to rent a beach house with my two brothers and their families. When we found out about my Mom, Denise decided to go to be with her, but only on the condition that I would still take my kids to the beach. My Mom was upset that Denise gave up her beach vacation (they share a great love of the ocean, my Mom was raised in So. California), and she would have been horrified if I made the kids miss it as well. So off I drove with my three crazy kiddos, 16 hours. It was worth it though, we had a great time, and I was able to worry about Mom together with my brothers. While we were gone, John did a little remodelling on the family room. He worked on it the whole week, and did an amazing job. I'll put up pictures of our beach trip and the new family room soon.

We would welcome your continued prayers in our behalf, for all of us. Though I know the eternal nature of my family, it is so difficult to prepare to say goodbye, not only to my Mom, but also to the father I have always known as he declines rapidly without the support of my Mom caring for him. Here are my parents at our wedding:

Love, Lajuana

What a Month

2008-07-24T14:09:00.000-04:00

This month was not as we had planned, I guess that's called life. Recently there have been two sad things that have happened to our families. So with that in mind we have not been doing a good job posting things here.

Near the end of June my Mom was in a car accident. She got hit head on in the middle of the afternoon by a drunk driver on a state highway. She's been in the hospital with a broken pelvic book, fractured leg, a blood clot, and some bruising. Two weekends ago I went out there (Ohio) to help her set up her apartment since she was released from the hospital. She is doing tons better but will not be able to put any weight on her leg until September so she has to use a wheel chair until then.

As you may recall Lajuana’s Mom had an aggressive melanoma cancer removed and consequently had some lymph nodes removed several months back. She has been checked out every month and had a CAT scan just two months ago. However, recently she has not been herself by not comprehending what she reads or sometimes what people are saying. She has hearing aids and still has some problems hearing and much was associated with that. Things were noticeably different and she went in this past week to her doctor. They ran some tests and thought at first she had a minor stroke, later tests revealed that not to be the case. They did an MRI and some other tests and found a tumor on her brain. She was admitted to the hospital at once and has been there since last Thursday. She is on some medication to reduce the pressure of the tumor on her brain, causing her comprehension problems, and she is doing better. She starts radiation treatment next week and then possible surgery. In short the tumor is directly related to that melanoma, surgery and radiation will only reduce the size and pressure. The prognosis is not good. Lajuana’s Dad has deteriorated and is unable to function without full time help, which her Mom has been able to provide. He is now in an Alzheimer's nursing home while Lajuana's Mom gets treatment… so needless to say huge emotions and difficulties are being faced. Lajuana is holding up well but much taken back in the turn of events that have happened so quickly. Your thoughts and prayers are welcome on behalf of Rust's.

We'll keep you posted on both Mom's.

Thanks again all
--JOHN

July 4th

2008-07-07T13:35:00.000-04:00

So what was your family up too in about 1776? On 30 June 1776 the British army landed on Statten Island (NY) and built up a mass amount of men. War was a real threat and enlistments into militias increased. July 4th 1776 America declared its independence from Great Brittan! A young boy from Delaware of 16 years old enlisted in July 1776 to the Delaware Blues, the company known as the "Flying Camp" battalion commanded by Colonel Patterson. At that point 16 years old was the youngest you could enlist. The battalion fought in only one battle, an attack on the British fort at the east end of Statten Island. The purpose of the attack was to help block the advancing troops into New Jersey where Washington was waging a battle.
The "Flying Camp" battalion was not very successful and passed out of existence at the end of 1776. This boy then turned 18 and reenlisted in 1778. He was then apart of the 1st Delaware regiment that marched to Valley Forge. His unit spilt and he eventually fought in the longest siege of the Revolutionary War, the battle of Ninety Six at the British fort of the town Ninety Six in South Carolina. He was wounded trying to scale the wall to set it on fire when a musket bullet went through a part of his neck, in near his shoulder and out near his elbow. He was taken captive, treated, and five weeks later released. At that point he went to the home of his wife, whom he meet and married while in the service, in Virginia. His name...Joseph Sapp, my 5th Grandfather. (Source: The Sapp Family History Book, 2001. Pictures from various websites including:http://www.revolutionaryday.com/usroute221/ninetysix/default.htm )

It is amazing the courage of the early Americans. Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness was sacrificed for, wished for, and eventually earned by the country called the United States of America. We fought for it, another country didn't do it for us, we sacrificed the stable hold of the British government all for that hope. Since 1776 my family has served in many US service branches, with the most recent being my younger brother in the Army (served two tours in Iraq). I love this country and I'm glad I have a chance to live here. And I'm thankful for my ancestor Joseph Sapp and all that saw freedom and did everything in their power to make it real for America.

--John

My son is a soap addict

2008-06-28T08:05:00.000-04:00

No, not soap operas (thank goodness)—liquid soap that abounds in every household. He especially loves to rub it in his hair, and does this at every house we visit. We have tried lots of things to get him to stop: stern talking-to, time outs, putting the soap up high (this never works because one of us eventually leaves it down after washing our hands), and I even let him do his own hair in the bath so he will have some satisfaction.

Kevin actually puts a lot of different things in his hair besides soap. He rubs lotion in all the time. He has also put diaper rash cream, shampoo and conditioner (while NOT in the bath), and once Elmer’s glue. After the glue, John and I both talked to him very seriously, saying “You never put ANYthing in your hair unless you’re in the bath! NOTHING!!” That was about a month ago, and he has been really good since then, even leaving the soap alone.

Until yesterday.

He was supposed to be taking a nap, when Garrett and I heard a THUMP and then he was crying. Garrett said, “He must have fallen out of bed!” and we rushed upstairs. But no, his bedroom door was open—he wasn’t in there. Another thump and more crying. . .from the bathroom? He usually is really good and doesn’t come out of his room after I put him to bed, so this was surprising. I opened the bathroom door and he was right behind it, slipping and sliding and falling with several more thumps as I opened the door. Why was he slipping and falling? You guessed it: soap all over the floor. An entire dispenser full of liquid soap that morning was now empty and all over the floor. No wait, it was also all over the counters, coated on some bath toys, and finger painted on the wall. I stood there in shock for a second, then said “Kevin, why did you do that??” He was still crying and tried to compose himself enough to say “I didn’t put in my hair!” I started laughing. At least he had enough self control to leave it out of his hair. I tried to be serious again, “But you put it all over the sinks, and the floor, and the toys, and the wall.” He was pretty calm by now. “And the door, Mom.” I looked at the door. Finger painted with soap as well. I *almost* wish it had been something colored so I could take a picture, because it would have been spectacular.

Well, my bathroom is cleaner than it has been in awhile. Smells good too--like soap.

Road trip report

2008-06-16T07:59:00.000-04:00

(from Lajuana)

I think I have sufficiently recovered from the road trip to now post some pictures and report on our travels. We drove through the night to get to Austin about lunch time, and checked into a hotel that was absolutely disgusting. It looked nothing like it's cheery pictures on the internet. Here is a picture of part of the bathroom ceiling that was covered in mold.

Needless to say we didn't stay there, but found a nicer place just a few blocks away. We spent the first few days with two of John's brothers and kids. We saw some sights in Austin and played games and went swimming. We went to the botanical gardens where Hannah was attacked by a giant scorpion. The kids had fun, but the heat and walking definitely tired them out.

We were so lucky that the Cluffs attend church in Austin, so we crashed their ward and then went home with them. They have a great house, and they welcomed us with open arms. Erin even encouraged me to do my laundry there, which helped a TON so I had much less to do when I got home. They have a trampoline that Kevin and Jared loved to jump on, and the dads took the kids to the park while we made Sunday dinner. It was so nice to be with them again, and the kids played so nicely together--it was amazing. Thanks so much, Cluff family!

We left Monday morning to go visit with John's dad for the day, then we went out to stay with my sister in Tyler, which I think is the prettiest place in Texas. We went to the (free!) rose gardens and also went swimming with my niece and nephew who are teenagers. My sister has a kitty that Hannah was obsessed with--she spent hours with it. It almost makes me ready to get a cat. Almost.

The drive home seemed twice as long as our drive there, even though it was actually a few hours shorter. I got a speeding ticket at 4 am, for going 76 mph on an interstate with nobody else around, how annoying is that?! The kids all traveled well in the van thanks to the dvd player and 8 borrowed dvd's from the library. Kevin is finally old enough that he will watch shows and movies for at least part of the time, and that is a wonderful attribute for children during a road trip! Though the trip was great, it was so wonderful to walk in our door, home at last. Kevin asks every day whose house we are going to today, and when I say we're just staying here, he says "I wanna go to the Club house" which I finally figured out means Cluff's house. It's going to be a long summer.

Garden Time

2008-05-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

Most of you might not know but we have an interest in having a green thumb. Like that distinction? We had a small garden a while back when we lived in Oregon but apartment life in Utah kept us away from growing much. We played with the notion of a community garden plot but with school and life being so busy we busted on that idea. Last year when we moved into our house we were already set with a preexisting garden on the side of the house. Luckily Denise (Lajuana's sister whom we share the house with) has two green thumbs and got us going. She also is leading the way this year and we benefit from all her work but we also have been learning and helping along the way to get our thumbs in the mix. Below is a picture of what it looked like.

You might notice the plastic green fence around it. That was put up in an attempt to keep those darn bunnies out from eating our strawberries. It worked a bit but in places the bunnies eat holes through it. We started imagining these viscous hungry rabbits as brilliant foes who always were one step in front of us. They eat our strawberries so then we put up the green fence. Then they started eating our blackberries so we put up chicken wire around that. So then the rabbits eat a hole in our green fence and eat stuff anyway. By the end of last summer came we had a grip on keeping them out.

This year I have a plan to beat them! I installed a retaining wall with a chicken wire fence that goes over a 18 inches underground. I also expanded the garden from 10'X10' to 10'X22'. It now encompasses the blackberries. We planted last weekend some corn, strawberries, squash, green beans, tomatoes, and the existing blackberries. We also planted in another location pumpkins and zucchini without a fence because we've heard bunnies won't eat them but I'm afraid ours might just to spite me! Below are the pictures of the new garden.

With any hope we'll have some good veggies this summer! If the bunnies do manage to hop the fence and eat the food maybe they'll get to fat to hop out and in the end we'll have a bunny pin rather than a garden! Either way I'm going to out smart those persistent bunnies!

--- John

I'm it, I guess

2008-05-21T17:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I've never been tagged before and I've been trying to ignore it. But since it was my old boss who tagged me, I've had a nagging feeling that I better do it soon or she'll fire me for handing in late reports. Hee hee. Love you Jan!

3 Joys:
1. Being with my family, whether it’s chatting with John while he builds a retaining wall, helping Garrett with homework, reading with Hannah, or playing cars with Kevin, I enjoy my family. This extends of course to my siblings and parents, I especially love playing games with my siblings or just sitting around talking because they are hilarious.
2. Good chocolate. Preferably with nuts and/or caramel. Most of you know I’m a chocolate snob. For Mother’s Day, the primary had each of their children give their mom a huge Hershey bar. So now I have two huge waxy “chocolate” bars that I plan on using for my cub scouts to make s’mores. THEY are NOT chocolate snobs.
3. Reading a good book straight through with minimal interruptions. When I had the flu, I read two books and barely saw my family while John took two days off work and took care of everyone and everything. It was kind of nice, even though I felt horrible. All I did was read and sleep--better than a vacation.

3 Fears:
1. Melanoma returning. It was pretty scary, though I tried to not think about how bad it could have been.
2. My kids getting seriously injured or seriously ill.
3. Being misunderstood. Things I say come out wrong all the time, and I’m sure I’ve offended a million people. I am also very oblivious to things around me and might do things to make people mad. A young female driver got right in front of me, slowed way down, and when I passed her, she gave me the finger! I have no idea why, but I must have done something to annoy her as I was driving, mentally making a grocery list, handing out snacks, and finding a toy that fell under the seat. She totally misunderstood my cluelessness as malice toward her. This was a simple example, but in general I hate that feeling of knowing I did/said something wrong, and may have hurt someone’s feelings (of course in this case she hurt MY feelings by giving me the finger!)

3 Goals:
1. Teach my kids a little Spanish this summer. I have been putting it off long enough, and John has been bugging me to do it since Garrett was an infant.
2. Lose some weight. Isn’t that always my goal? In conjunction with that, I would like to be able to ride my bike up around the “prairie preserve” and back without dying. I did it last summer, but am woefully out of shape again.
3. Keep sane during all our planned road trips this summer. Yes, even with gas at $4/gallon, John is insisting on fulfilling all our travel plans.

3 Current Obsessions:
1. Lost. I love it, but try not to get too crazy about it. It’s the only tv show I watch, so I feel I’m entitled to obsess a little.
2. Reading. I’ve been seeing what everyone else is reading on Goodreads, and go read it myself. I hardly ever post what I'm reading though.
3. Healthier (but tasty) cooking. Just to remind everyone, I have to cook several specialty meals for dinner because everyone’s dietary needs usually cannot coexist harmoniously: vegetarian (John), dairy-free (Kevin), diabetic (my sister), and that EVERYONE likes or at least tolerates. I know many of you are saying “I wouldn’t do that, I would make one thing and they would have to eat it.” So think of five staple meals in your home and try to tweak them to keep everyone in MY house healthy. Pasta? Has to be whole grain (for Denise) and that can’t be her main dish, so I have to also have a meat on the side. Pizza? No cheese for Kevin. Indian food? My kids and Denise don’t like it. Tacos? With beans and cheese for John, beans, meat and cheese for G&H, beans and meat for Kevin, and as a salad for me (I don’t really like tortillas) and Denise. Do you see what I’m getting at? I can rarely make one thing and put it on the table for everyone, and even if I do find something, someONE won’t like it very much (i.e. Stir fry with tofu--Denise and kids hate it and I don’t like it much either).

3 Random/Surprising Facts about Myself:
1. I am the ninth of ten children, and yes my mom is an angel. My sister that we live with is the second. We have very different personalities, but sound almost exactly alike on the phone.
2. I’m not a good housekeeper. I love cooking, baking, and of course eating what I make, but I absolutely hate every other household chore (except laundry, strangely enough). Dirty dishes are my arch-enemy. Bathroom cleaning is my nightmare.
3. I love to be alone. Maybe it’s from trying to escape my big family, maybe it’s just my inborn personality, but I love being on my own with only me to take care of. When I went to college, I chafed under the constant presence of my roommate. I loved it when she had to leave for class before me and I had the room to myself. When I was on my mission, having a constant companion was something I struggled with for the first few months (I did eventually come to terms with it and actually enjoyed my companions). I was excited and happy to be on my own when I started teaching, I had a little apartment that was mine, all mine and I loved it, even though I didn’t have any furniture or a tv. I was never too scared or nervous about being alone. Now, of course, I’m used to sharing a room, a bed, a house, and I miss John if he is gone. But I sure do love my alone time.

Well, there you have it. Does anything surprise anyone? I'm a pretty open book, so I think everyone knows all this about me. Let's hear the comments. . .anyone just like me or opposite from me? What do you think about all this John? Are you sad that I secretly like you to be gone? Just kidding, you know I love you near me.

I tag specifically: Ardis, Andrea, and those who have not answered Jan's tag yet. And generally, whoever wants to answer these questions. It was kind of fun.

Spring in Wisconsin

2008-05-16T10:47:00.000-04:00

Our great friends in WI come and visit us...well lets be honest...us and the Chicago LDS Temple, often and we have not made the journey up there until last weekend. Our visit was great and we had a blast playing the Wii and talking. One of the highlights was going to a marsh land area. We went on a trail and saw all kinds of wild life preparing for the spring. It was a bit cool, low 60 and cloudy, but great for walking around.

We really enjoyed our vacation. WI is very pretty if you have never been there; rolling hills, tons of green farm land but broken up with large trees and rivers, wind mills, cows, and great natural parks. I'd recommend you check it out if you never have! And if you need some great friends that are so nice and welcoming...we know the perfect couple!

--- John

Spring time is here!

2008-05-06T09:07:00.000-04:00

Spring time brings about many wonderful changes. After the horrid winter, this spring is nothing less than a miracle! Last fall we planted some bulbs in the hope that spring would come again and this time with flowers. Another fear we had is the bunnies! I did not know this but the Chicagoland area is plagued with a huge overpopulation of wild bunny rabbits. Last year we found a family living under our wood deck. They are everywhere! The eat flowers and young bushes, and as we found out last year... our blackberries, strawberries, and pretty much any new or budding flower.

This year we had a plan of attack against the bunnies, chicken wire! We fenced off the garden and put a fence underground so they would not eat the bulbs we planted. A few weeks ago the tulips started to come up and the bunnies kept eating them down to the ground. We have heard all of the advice possible, including putting human hair on the ground. Eventually the bunnies got full, I can only imagine, and left our flowers alone and they came up in power.

To top off the flower burst is our flowering trees! Our two front trees are a wonderful pink and our side tree is white! The smells are powerful and so sweet! Our house is not the only, the whole city and area is just popping colors and flowering smells. The only thing close to this is when we lived in Oregon and the spring was just awesome too. To say the least I'm very surprised at how nice it is here and how spring just makes everything new again!

To add to the spring time fun we had two visitors come by on Saturday morning. The kids loved watching them for a long time. A boy and a girl duck. They ended up walking off to some other houses and then most likely to one of the two nearby ponds in our development. I hope you guys all have a wonderful spring and take time to smell the flowers!!!

Shiny happy people

2008-04-25T11:54:00.000-04:00

Most of you have not seen Kevin for about a year or longer, and that was when he was still the strong, silent type. He now talks a lot, and he is so funny. We are constantly laughing at what he comes up with. We read from the Book of Mormon every night, everybody just reads one verse. When it's Kevin's turn, I usually say a few words and he repeats the last word I said. For example:
Me: And it came to pass. . .(pause)
Kevin: Pass.
etc.

Several weeks ago, for some reason, he started to say "shiny" in front of everything.
Me: And it came to pass. . .
Kevin: Shiny pass.
Much laughter from the other children (and me).
After we settle down a little. . .Me: that Alma. . .
Kevin: Shiny Elmo (he can't say Alma, and this leads to even more laughter, this is usually when John breaks down and starts laughing too).

We're not really sure why he started this, though it might be because John bought a "new" car and Kevin started off by calling it Dad's shiny new car. Maybe he thinks everything should be shiny and new. So. . .we tried kind of ignoring it for a long time, but the kids of course would still bust up laughing, sometimes John and I too. Finally we decided to crack down on it. Now this is the usual result:

Me: And Alma said unto the people
K: shiny people (this almost breaks me as I think of the song, but I am strong and don't laugh)
Me: Just people
K: What kind of people?
Me: Just say people.
K: What kind of people?
Me: Just regular people.
K: Really people?
Me: Yes. . . "people of the city"
K: Shiny city
Me: Just city.
K: Shiny city
Me: Just say city.
K: What kind of city?
Me: *reaching the end of my rope and about to burst out laughing* Just a regular city.
K: Really city? Or shiny city?

By this time usually John is snickering quietly behind his hand, and the kids are of course giggling, and how can I hold it together with all that? So we all laugh and then just continue letting him say shiny before everything. I guess we'll just let him say it and ignore him again. I don't really care that he says it, it makes scripture time more interesting because we all wonder what will be shiny today.

Earthquake in Illinois

2008-04-18T09:41:00.000-04:00

So at 4:36 am this morning I was making my lunch (I go to work real early!) and felt a little shake but mostly heard the windows rattle and it sounded like everyone was coming down the stairs. Just as soon as it started it all of the sudden stopped. I thought that it was very odd and didn't think anything about it. It's not like an earthquake could occur here. I was watching the news to see the weather and they reported that an earthquake just hit Illinois, 240 miles south near Salem. It was a 5.4 and was felt here in Chicago but as far as 450 miles away. My sister lives in Louisville KY, about 90 miles from the epicenter. She said that her bed was shaking like crazy and things moving around. From what I've seen so far there hasn't been any damage.

I had no idea there was a fault line here and the last time an earthquake hit here was 1968, so not like I would know that anyway. But it got me thinking about earthquakes in diverse places. A few years back there was that tornado that occurred right in downtown Salt Lake City, how strange was that! I guess this earthquake doesn't beat that tornado in oddity, but it comes close. We hear about earthquakes, tornadoes, flooding, and drought throughout the earth. But it something different when you realize it is happening where you live. We had that earthquake, severe flooding occurred just this fall in mid-Illinois (in our stake! The church and our ward assisted with the clean up and helping families in the area), last summer over 200 people died in Chicago related to heat (in 1995 almost 600 people died in a freak heat wave in Chicago), and this winter was one of the coldest on record with record amount of snow.

I could talk about global warming, our human impact, and our responsibility and stewardship in caring for this wonderful Earth...but I'll avoid the backlash and endless comments...this time. However I will note my own feeling as I have lived in 6 States and have family living in many different States, that what is happening in the world is also really happening in not as noticeable (or publicised) ways everywhere. Sign of the times? I think so. But I find it interesting that we have been so used to the strange tornadoes or odd earthquakes that it almost seems normal, almost not even news worthy. I can see how people can be lulled away into not seeing what is actually happening in front of all of us. Well...that is just what I've been thinking.

--- John

PS.
A funny note is that Lajuana slept right through the earthquake! Now she can't make fun of me for sleeping through an earthquake we went through in Oregon. It is all very funny in light of my commentary above!

What's in a name?

2008-04-16T10:47:00.000-04:00

I think we’ll be changing our names on the blog for privacy reasons, and this week I’ve been thinking a lot about my name. I was named after my mom’s aunt Juanita Brooks, an LDS historian/author. For some reason, they decided “La” in front of the name made it sound even better, and that’s what I got. I always joke that by the time they got to me (9th out of 10), they were running out of names and had to make up one, and I used to say “I’m not just any Juana, I’m THE Juana (“la” means “the” in Spanish).” Here's a picture of me when I was about 4, with my best friend and my older brother (not sure what he's doing with this pose). I have my name shirt on that my parents had made for me in Las Vegas. I remember always being sad that I never got personalized things like those little licence plates, so they got a shirt made for me.

My brothers all called me Juana or Juani, and most of my good friends picked up one of those. John calls me Juani at least half the time. A lot of people think my name starts with Lu, more like Luanne or something, which doesn’t bother me at all. I answer to anything remotely sounding like my name. My basketball coach was entirely unable to pronounce my name and just started calling me Lou after the first day. So then the whole team called me Lou, Louie, or LuLu. Some of my friends from high school still call me that. One day, my older brother’s friends sat at lunch and made a huge long list of nicknames for me, including:
Lajuanasaurus Rex,
Lackawana (tribe of Native Americans in NJ),
Susquehana,
Mahana (from Johnny Lingo, as in “Mahana you ugly. . .come down from that tree”),
Hermana Lajuana, and a bunch of others I don’t remember or have intentionally shut out of my memory. This was the "awkward time" in my life, and I was mortified at so much attention from Seniors. Here's a picture of me between two friends when I was 15. Like the glasses?

When I was called to go to Spain, I was excited to go to the land of my ancestors (my dad’s family was from there), and was fiercely proud of my name. I started to realize in the MTC, however, that my name was not just unique, it was downright weird. Imagine your name being Thejulie or Themary. People would think you were a little strange, and your parents too. I learned on my mission that people sometimes use an article in front of someone’s name, but it’s used in kind of a derogatory way, or at least disrespectful. I can’t think of something similar in English. When I first got to Spain, when people would ask my first name, I would say Lajuana and they thought I was crazy. I would have to explain in my limited Spanish why they named me that, and still at the end, they would say “It’s just not right” and they would lecture me on why my name was so wrong. In my next area, I decided to fix the problem. When people would ask my first name, I said Juana. “You mean Joanna.” “No, it’s Juana.” “How could you be named Juana, I don’t believe it.” Then I would have to prove it to them, I had to show them my real name engraved on my scriptures was Lajuana, and then have the whole conversation again about it being wrong to name your child Lajuana. Finally, in my next area, when anyone asked my first name, I would say Joanna, and they would say “Oh, that’s like the name Juana in Spanish.” “Exactly.”

It's also interesting to note that John and I have the same name, almost. Juan y Juani. That might be the new title of our blog.

Sunny St. George

2008-04-07T22:06:00.000-04:00

We went to St. George, UT during Spring Break to visit my parents. They are doing well, though my dad continues to decline in his verbal abilities (he has Alzheimer's). The kids don't really notice and just love him for his silliness and his love of adventure. It was warm and sunny there, a nice change from the chilly wind of the Chicago area. Spring has arrived there, and the flowers and trees were blooming. We let our eyes feast on the mountain vistas, and we felt as if we were home. We REALLY miss the mountains. The drive out there was brutal, but interestingly enough, our drive home was a little better. Kevin loves the trucks and cars that Grandma has in her toy box, and Garrett and Hannah enjoyed coloring pictures to hang on the fridge. Kevin followed Grandpa around like a little shadow, helping him water the plants and using his measuring tape to make sure everything was the correct length :)

A new start

2008-04-07T17:34:00.000-04:00

Hello friends and family, here we are trying a new format. John is tired of all the blogging resting on his shoulders, so now we're starting this one to see if I'll actually participate a little. I can promise that I will try to write pretty often, so you can all see what the crazy Sapps are up to now.