In which my son teaches me

It really is wonderful what your kids can teach you. As mine have been getting “older” I have learned even more from them, about them, and about myself.

For my non-LDS friends, I would like to explain a little bit about testimony meeting. One Sunday a month, our church meeting gives 30 – 40 minutes to any members of the congregation that would like to come to the front and speak to the congregation. This is a time to share testimony of Jesus Christ, what you have learned, and uplifting experiences. It is a great way to share your faith; and as you share, you are strengthened, and those who are listening are strengthened as well. That being said, it is also a little nerve-wracking to have everyone listening to you. I personally do not go up very often, probably less than once a year. John does a little more often, maybe 3 times a year. Some people always have something to say and go up every month. Even children are encouraged to give their testimony if they feel inclined.

A few weeks ago, Garrett asked me during the hymn if he could go give his testimony when it was time. I was surprised, but of course said “Sure!” He was positively squirming in his seat waiting for the time to arrive. I started to get a little worried. What was he going to say? He’s so shy. . .would he get nervous and freeze up? I leaned over and asked him what he was going to talk about. “Prayer,” he whispered back succinctly. OK. I trusted him to speak from the heart and stay on topic (during our family night at home, we take turns giving a lesson and whoever is doing it is encouraged to give their testimony at the end. Garrett has gotten really “good” at this lately, often bringing in his own experiences and tying it in with the lesson).

The time arrived and Garrett bounced out of his seat and started up to the front. At the same time, an adult started walking up too and Garrett was confused about what to do (usually just head up to the front and take a seat to wait your turn) so he came back and sat down. When the adult finished, again Garrett bounced out of his seat to head up to the front. He was so eager, I couldn’t believe it. I raised my eyebrows at John, who WAS this boy?

He got to the microphone and began eagerly, “I’d like to bear my testimony that prayer is really important and it works.” Suddenly he was overcome with emotion and nervousness and started to cry. He hid his face in his hands but stayed there. I jumped up and went to join him. He turned his face into me and I told him he was doing a great job. Was there anything else he wanted to say? He nodded and tried to quickly compose himself. “I was having a really hard time in Math and it made me feel so bad. So I prayed for help and I worked really hard and now I can do it. Prayer really works.” This was all said in a tearful voice while I had my arm around him. As I looked out to all our friends, I saw that many of them had tears in their eyes. He closed in the name of Jesus Christ and went to sit down. I briefly bore my testimony as well and sat down. Several people who spoke referred to his testimony, and many personally spoke to him after the meeting saying how great he did. He took this all in his usual shy way, and he seemed embarrassed by all the attention. I think he wished that everyone would promptly forget it all and leave him alone. I asked him later if he was embarrassed, but he said no. I told him how proud we were of him and hoped that he would share his testimony often. I really hope this won’t put him off of sharing in the future. John and I want to be encouraging but not pushy at all. You can’t force faith, after all.

Hopefully, whatever problems we face, whether they are math problems or health problems, financial problems, or anything else, we can all turn to the Lord in prayer and work really hard, and then we can get through it.

Here's a fun story for you

My family is planning a reunion for this summer. Because of the health of my parents, we are having it near their home. If any of you have ever been there (St. George) you know how absolutely painful it is in the summer. So hot. You just want to lie in the air conditioning with the shades drawn. Except my parents keep their house at a sweltering 85 degrees, so there’s not much relief there. I had vowed to never go there during the summer again (that story in a moment), but I did break that vow to go help Mom and Dad after her first radiation treatment of the big tumor. It was August. To my surprise, I didn’t find it as unbearable as I thought I would, and I found myself wondering if I am getting old. Don’t get me wrong—it was horribly hot. And sunny. But it really WAS a dry heat, and compared to the sticky humidity of Chicago August, it wasn’t really that bad. I just had to make sure I drank 10 gallons of water a day.

So here’s the story of my bad experience with the summers there. My dad’s parents also retired to S.G. and were living there during my childhood. When I was about 6, my whole family drove out there from NJ, and then my parents left the four youngest of us with Grandma and Grandpa. The plan was for us to stay 4 or 5 days with them and then they would bring us to Vegas where we would reunite. I can’t remember why they didn’t want us little kids with them, I think there was some event like graduation or something (cousins live there). Grandma was slightly crazy; I don’t know what Dad was thinking leaving us there. I mean, he ran away from home when he was 16 to get away from them. She had us all sleep on one bed in the basement, but the first night one brother wet the bed and we were all banished to the floor (you know the kind of basement floor—a cement slab not even covered with thin carpet). Our ages were 3, 5, 7, and 10, but we were almost to our birthdays.
Here is a typical day for us in the middle of July in the hot desert: Grandma would wake us up early, at 6:30 am and give us breakfast of wheat toast and milk (I hate drinking milk but she tried to make me, I think I gave mine to a sibling while she wasn’t looking). By 8 am, she shooed us out of the house, pointing the way to the park. We would play at the park for awhile, but the sun would soon have us sitting listlessly in the shade. Grandma would not let us back in the house. We periodically went back to check if she had left any food for us on the back porch. One time she left some watermelon slices, we were so happy! She would leave our lunch out there too, bologna sandwiches on that same wheat bread. I hate bologna. There were rarely any other kids at the park—the residents knew better than to play out there in the summer. It was brutal. Everyone was at the pool or reservoirs, or something to do with water.

My grandparents lived close to the LDS temple which has a visitor’s center. It was air conditioned. HALLELUJAH! We would spend most of our time from lunch to dinner at the visitor’s center. They had NICE grandma types there who would look at us pityingly with our dirty clothes (from being at the park all morning), un-brushed hair, sunburned faces, and let us watch whatever church movies we wanted. We memorized Johnny Lingo, John Baker’s last run, and every single Mormon commercial out there. Ah, yes, I have very fond memories of that visitor’s center.
When we went home for dinner, Grandma had us wash our feet and hands in the utility sink in the garage. She was never affectionate (hugs), or happy to see us (“Welcome back!”) and we all felt very unwanted. One day when we were playing at the park, I fell off the merry go round and cut my leg very badly. Heather (10) ran back to Grandma’s and banged on all the doors, but she wouldn’t open up. Heather even saw her through the window, and tried to wave to her, but she pretended to be asleep (she dropped her book and nodded her head when she saw H at the window). H finally gave up and came back to us. She had my brother take off his shirt and she used it to clean it up as best we could with the (very warm) water from the water fountain. I still have the scar.

There’s a little more to the story, mostly just that we all had to squeeze into the cab of a pickup truck to drive 2 hours to Vegas (Aaron and I down by their feet and the other two on the bench seat with Grandma and Grandpa), but I think it may be time to let it go because I’m getting a little depressed. I am so glad my children have grandparents who help them know that they are loved. Every kid should have that blessing.

Happier stuff: We went to an indoor water park and had a blast. And Easter was fun, though a lot more commercial than I would have liked (thanks to my big sister). Here are some pictures.

Contamination!

The last few weeks have been, how can I say it nicely. . . somewhat unpleasant. John has been working on a site (doing water sampling) up in a city two hours away right on Lake Michigan. He gets up at 4:30 am so he can leave by 5 so he can get there by 7. That by itself would be bad enough even if he could leave by 4pm. Which he should be able to do. But they have had some major problems with flooding, ice, equipment malfunction, safety hazards, and just about anything you can think of short of explosions and gunfire. He has had to stay up there until 8 pm most nights, and some nights until 10 or 11. By the time he drives the 2 hours home and takes off his damp and smelly clothes (yes, this is CONTAMINATED water), he is too exhausted to even speak. He just falls into bed and sets his alarm for 4:30 again.

Now, some of you may be remembering at this point, “Wait a minute, didn’t John just start his EMBA program too? When does he study?” That is a good question. Since he was carpooling up to Waukegan with a coworker, I suggested he study in the car. But he felt like that would be rude. There were a few nights that he got home at 8 or 9 and he was able to study for an hour before he collapsed in a delirious heap. To top it all off, this past weekend, he had two exams AND a final exam. He was worried and studied for as many hours as he could stay awake. He thinks he did pretty well though. He is so happy the last two weeks are over. He has to work in Waukegan for the next week, but then he should be back to normal hours in the office. Thank goodness.

And what is a wife to do? I can’t go to work for him, can’t study for him. The most I could do is keep things running here, not make any demands on him, wash his contaminated clothes before they contaminated the house (it smelled like sewer water), and make his lunch for him. I think I did pretty well for two weeks. But my goodwill and sympathy ran out last night, as I practically demanded that he do the dishes. I’ll try to be better now.

I thought I’d update on my Mom, as I haven’t said anything about how she is doing. After that first large tumor (she has metastatic melanoma) in her brain was treated with radiation, they found another small tumor and treated it right before Christmas. She has lost a lot of hair and has been pretty depressed about it. She refuses to get a wig, though. She has made a remarkable recovery. There is some brain damage from the first tumor and radiation. Reading is laborious and difficult for her to understand. Her eyesight in one eye was affected, as well as hearing in one ear. She practices all the time though, because the doctors told her she can form new neural pathways. She exercises almost every day, and is getting strong, and probably more fit than I am! The bad news is, that once melanoma has moved through the lymph system, it will keep popping up. Since chemotherapy doesn’t work well with melanoma, and because of Mom’s advanced age, it would do more harm than good. The best we can do is have her scanned, poked, and prodded very often and take care of each tumor as it comes. We are so blessed to have her with us for as long as we can. My Dad is doing ok, he has good days and bad days. We are so thankful that physically, he is doing wonderfully: he goes on long rambling walks with his home healthcare workers, he is continent, feeds himself, dresses himself, etc. His helpers come every morning and evening. They think Dad is funny and wonderful, which makes us all happy. Neither Dad nor Mom can drive now, so the helpers drive them around to doctor’s appointments and other errands, and get Dad ready for the day and then ready for bed at night. Mom is so glad that she can still be with Dad. She was dreading putting him into a home. We are all glad we can put it off for a little longer. Thank you everyone for your concern, prayers, and good wishes.

Now, I’m off to be a nicer wife. Wish me luck because it don’t come natural.

Because I'm old and un-hip like that

We got a karaoke machine for Christmas and my kids have had a great time singing along to the Beatles, Journey, and even some church music. But after they had some friends over, I’ve realized that we need some new music that other kids will know. It was a little embarrassing for them to try to get their friends excited about Yellow Submarine and Wheel in the Sky (my kids know these by heart, is that weird?) Unfortunately, I am sadly out of date with music (hence beatles and journey). So what music out there is kid friendly, fun, clean, and I guess popular? Do I need to get some Hannah Montana? Who are the current faves?


Here are some pictures to look at while you think:

The kids built a snowman


And we went back to Nauvoo, this time with the kids and met up with their best friends and shared log cabin with them. It was a ton of fun!

The joys of a Chicago winter

This morning as I write this, the actual air temperature outside is -22. With the wind chill, it feels like -38. My garage door froze up and I had to close it manually. They cancelled school yesterday and today because it is too dang cold. I'm supposed to take the trash out to the curb, but I find myself pondering if it's really worth it.

So, you know when it's 20 degrees outside, and it feels so cold and you debate whether or not you should let the kids play outside in the snow but they're driving you crazy so you think "30 minutes won't kill them" and you throw them out and they come back later with red cheeks and dripping noses and you make them hot chocolate because you feel a tiny bit guilty? IT'S FORTY DEGREES COLDER THAN THAT. They haven't been able to enjoy the lovely snow, except from our frozen windows that have ICE ON THE INSIDE! Everyone says this is unusually cold (it certainly wasn't this cold last winter), but that doesn't change the fact that I am freezing, and that I have been fondly remembering the brown inversion days in Logan.

On the plus side, since we haven't left the house for two days, I've been focusing on Kevin's potty training and he has made plenty of progress. Yay!

Here's a picture of a bridge near us:

The Art of Compromise

We hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year’s. We have been pretty low-key here. My sister left in mid-December to stay with my parents, and she did a lot of preparation before she left. She wrapped almost all the presents (I hate wrapping and I’m terrible at it—John makes fun of my ugly wrapping all the time, but really, the kids don’t care and it seems like a big waste of time to wrap up something nicely and then have them tear it open without looking at your wrapping job. . .but I digress). She also organized the gingerbread house decorating that is our Christmas tradition. Since she did all that before she left, we didn’t have a whole lot of work to do as we got closer to Christmas. We did our traditional Shepherd’s dinner on Christmas Eve and read from the Bible. We opened one special present on Christmas Eve. My sister who lives in South Dakota sent us a karaoke machine which the kids love, of course. They love the microphone, and I’m hoping that they will continue to love it while I put in the hymns and children’s music for them to sing along.

John gave me some shelves and storage things for my scrapbooking stuff. . .no doubt in the hopes that I would actually DO something in our scrapbook. I haven’t done anything since we moved here and it seemed an impossible task to conquer. But I did organize everything and ordered prints of digital pictures from the year of 2006. I know myself and once I get started, I will really be obsessed until I’m done. It’s one of my goals for the year to get caught up, and I don’t think it will be a problem.

Do you like flannel sheets? John does. He LOVES them. They make him feel warm and cozy. He loves getting into bed and being instantly enveloped in warmth. I don’t like them. In fact, I despise them. They are irritating, make me sweaty in the middle of the night, and impede my turning over (I feel like a flannel person stuck on a flannel board). In September, John starts getting antsy and tells me to put them on because it’s SOOO cold getting into bed at night. I resist for as long as I can, but eventually give in around Halloween. This has happened every year for 8 years, since we moved from John’s native Texas and he bought the flannel sheets. This year, in September after I told him there was NO WAY we were going to put on the flannel sheets yet, he said “You should just cut them in half and sew them together with a regular sheet.” I was so frustrated with him and his annoyances, I stormed out of the room. Later I started thinking, that’s not a bad idea. It would be a good Christmas present. I began searching garage sales for some flannel sheets. It took awhile, but I found some in October and with the help of a good friend who is much better at sewing than I am, I custom-made some sheets for our bed. Compromise has been reached, sleeping arrangements are ideal, and marital bliss has been restored. As I turn over during the night, I am thankful that I am not stuck on flannel, and thankful I have a husband who can see a solution where I only saw an impasse.

University of Notre Dame

The time has come for that all important next career step. Lajuana has dreaded this moment since I graduated knowing I wanted to go on and get my MBA. But she has been fully supportive in my application process (which has been over a year now) and now starting the program; she's the best! Many of you know me as one who plans well in advance, uses strategy, and is very thoughtful in my decisions. With that said I researched and checked out tons of programs and types or formats of programs; full-time, part-time, and executive. I ended up choosing the executive MBA format, which is set up for little bit older professionals, a condensed program length, cohort style (you all start at the same time and take the same classes at the same time), and classes set up not as often as part-time. I ended up narrowing down my choice and applying to the University of Chicago and the University of Notre Dame. The subsequent interview and visit made me realize that Notre Dame is where I wanted to go. It was an interesting process, praying to know what university to apply too and having the answer include Notre Dame and then later praying to know if I should attend since I was accepted. The overwhelming answer was yes, I think there are several reasons as I look back now why that could be but I'm just so glad prayers are answered.



I have a friend in my Ward that got his Masters degree there and said its "where every good Mormon goes". He is a funny guy. The University of Notre Dame MBA program is ranked 20th in the nation and is highly respected especially here in Chicago. As I looked more into the program it felt like a good choice. Interesting stat, 5% of the MBA students at Notre Dame are LDS. Here is how my program works; every other full Friday and Saturday are spent in downtown Chicago campus (they own the entire Santa Fe building), several one week immersion weeks on the Notre Dame campus (about 100 miles from home), and one international week (I think we are going to China). Last week was orientation on the main campus. We had introductions, a campus tour, social events, math and accounting reviews, and got together with our team. The director selects teams that consist of very different backgrounds; I'm on a team of 5 that will stay together through the whole program. On Friday night Lajuana drove up, leaving our kids at our good friends house, for a dinner at the press boxes at the football stadium (not sure if you know but ND is kind of known for its football). It was a fun dinner talking with other couples that are in program. The next day Lajuana and I went to class :) We had this great presentation and interaction on personalities. It was very fun. The overall all experience was amazing! As the first person in my family to graduate college and now the first to go to grad school I feel very fortunate to be involved in such a great program. Is it going to be hard? It will be amazingly hard for me as well as for Lajuana and the kids. Will it be worth it? I have complete faith it will be.

As a side note, attending Notre Dame opens up conversations with lots of people. At orientation I was able to talk to several people about my faith and their faiths; a Jewish person, Protestants, Catholics, and non-practicing people. The environment there enables open discussion of religion, business, and goals. It is neat and I look forward to taking in the whole experience.

-- John

The Dome

Inside the Dome

The football stadium. Seats 80,000! The current University undergrad count is 8,000 and grad count is 3,000. Often the stadium is packed and another 100,000 tail-gating in the parking lot. As a student I get two tickets in the student section, so heck yea I'm planning on going!

You can't tell from this picture but the business building is super nice inside. The undergrad business program ranks 3rd in the country.